


A Dream Within a Dream

by NominNoodles



Series: The Edge of Never [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - John Wick (Movies) Setting, Alternate Universe - Medical, Alternate Universe - Police, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assassination, Assassination Attempt(s), Assassination Plot(s), Attempted Assault, Confident Na Jaemin, Detective Lee Jeno, Doctor Na Jaemin, Drama, Drinking, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gang NCT, Gang Violence, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Lee Jeno is Whipped, M/M, Mafia NCT, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, NCT 127 Ensemble-centric, NCT Dream Ensemble-centric, Na Jaemin is Whipped, Party, Romance, Slow Burn, Swearing, Trauma, Undercover, Undercover Missions, Violence, chaebol, markhyuck, nomin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:47:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29352210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NominNoodles/pseuds/NominNoodles
Summary: Adored by everyone who meets him, med-student Na Jaemin has the world at his feet.But his picturesque life is far more complicated and deadly than it seems, so maybe it's time he looks for a way out. He never would have guessed his answers would come in the shape of a leather-clad Lee Jeno.Jeno keeps secrets, Jaemin has never been in love - but when their worlds collide, will they be able to hold on to each other, or lose themselves in the process?I want to be the one you didn't see coming. The one who gets under your skin. Who makes you unsteady. Who makes you question everything you have ever believed about loveI want to be the one who makes you feel reckless and out of control; the one you are infuriatingly and inexplicably drawn toI don't want to be the one who tucks you into bed; I want to be the reason you can't sleep at night(https://adreamwithinadream.carrd.co )
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: The Edge of Never [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156109
Comments: 114
Kudos: 111





	1. Minor Inconvenience

**Author's Note:**

> This plot and it's characters has been floating around in my head for months and I finally have the courage to share it. I have a lot of things planned, so be warned there will be loads of angst and suspense >:) but of course a happy ending for our MCs. Enjoy :3
> 
> P.S. There will be scenes containing violence, kidnapping, abuse and blood and lots of cussing, so this serves as a general trigger warning. If there are specific things coming up in a chapter that could be triggering, I will mention it ahead of time.
> 
> xx Saya

Jaemins' head whipped sharply to the side at the impact of the fist. He grimaced as his ears rang at the blow and the ropes around his wrists chafed at his skin.

Jaemin looked up slowly and laughed, blood dribbling down his chin.

"What's so fucking funny punk?" His assailant spat, grabbing Jaemin by the collar of his stained shirt, and shaking him with such force the chair he was tied to lifted off the floor.

"You're so screwed" Jaemin spat back, smiling smugly at the thug through his blood-stained teeth, not letting his pain show. The burly man dropped Jaemin, the chair sharply smacking down on the concrete floor, making his teeth rattle.

"You're worth billions, alive or dead. I'll keep my mouth shut if I were you, or we might start mailing bits and pieces of you back to your dear mommy." The man threatened, his thick, dirty finger digging into Jaemins' chest. Jaemin just smiled smugly, his arrogance seemingly out of touch with the situation he was in. The thug turned on his heel and sauntered away from where Jaemin was tied up, back to his partners.

As they started whispering in low voices, discussing their plans for him, Jaemin took the chance to look around properly for the first time. He took stock of his surroundings, carefully noting each detail. As he surveyed everything around him, his hand tapped at his bracelet quickly, just like how he was taught.

Abandoned warehouse. _tap-tap-tap_

Highway nearby. _tap-tap-tap-tap_

Running water. _tap-tap-tap-tap_

45 min drive. _tap-tap_

4 Assailants. _tap-tap_

Plate GA 7667. _tap-tap-tap-tap-tap_

That should be enough, he thought. This was not his first time being kidnapped or held for ransom, but this was by far the dumbest crew he has ever come across. They had grabbed him outside of a cafe in the middle of downtown Seoul, where his friends and numerous passersby had borne witness. He was blindfolded but not knocked out, so Jaemin was able to keep track of how far they had travelled. Once they had arrived at the old warehouse - _how original -_ they had taken his phone and watch, afraid of being tracked. But they hadn't removed his bracelet, probably thinking the delicate silver was insignificant. What they didn't know was that this seemingly fragile bangle was a telegraph key used to send coded messages. They had even parked the very _inconspicuous_ white van in Jaemin's sight, giving him a clear view of the license plate.

Jaemin relaxed and leaned back, Doyoung and Yuta were probably on their way at that very second. It won't be long now until people in suits would swarm the building, his kidnappers lying dead on the floor with holes in their heads. 

He hoped they would be quick about it, he had an anatomy exam later that afternoon that he really couldn't miss.

_(* note: carrd for this fic:[https://adreamwithinadream.carrd.co](https://adreamwithinadream.carrd.co/) )_


	2. Circadian Dysrhythmia

“What do you think Lee?” Johnny asked, looking through the one-way glass at the man huddled over a table in an interrogation room.

“Seems like bullshit to me” Jeno said, crossing his arms over his chest, a thick brown file still in hand.

“Let’s talk to him and see what he’s got to say. Maybe this could be something big.” Johnny said, gently slapping Jeno’s shoulder before leaving the room.

“Doubt it.” Jeno mumbled roughly, not in the mood for whatever this case was.

Jeno followed Johnny out and entered the interrogation room behind his partner. The man cuffed to the metal desk looked up quickly as the two detectives entered.

“Detective Suh.”

“Detective Lee.” The introduced themselves simply before pulling up chairs.

Jeno made himself as comfortable as he could, his aching muscles protesting against the harshness of the metal at his back. He and Johnny had taken a flight out of Lyon to Seoul just the previous evening when word had reached Interpol HQ that there could be a possible big break in the Ahn Syndicate case. But now that Johnny and Jeno saw the ‘big-break’ sitting rumpled and shivering before them, it seems this lead was a bust.

The man looked at them with frightened eyes, sweat shining on his forehead, greasy hair glimmering thickly under the harsh lights. The man opened and closed his mouth as he struggled to speak, looking like a dying fish.

“Speak.” Jeno snapped harshly, patience running thin.

“I – Uhm.. I-“ he started, voice thin.

“Fine. Let me” Johnny interrupted, not completely as over it as Jeno was, but jet-lag made him more irritable than usual.

Johnny took the file from Jeno and flipped through a couple of pages, leaning back in his chair.

“Employee at the Ahn-compound for 15 years, now you want to flip and sell some info in exchange for protection.” Johnny stated in a bored voice, eyes still browsing the file.

“Y-yes.” The man said, nodding eagerly.

“Getting you out of the country and into wit-sec won’t be easy, especially if the Ahn are after you. What can you give us in return?” Jeno asked, crossing his arms in annoyance.

“N-No. Protection first. Then – then I’ll talk.” The nervous little man said, swallowing hard.

For a brief moment, a tense stillness settled over the room. After a short pause, Johnny looked up and met Jeno’s eyes. Jeno barked a laugh and got up slowly, his chair scraping against the floor.

“Good luck.” Johnny said to the man with a sarcastic bite, and followed Jeno out of the room.

“No! Wait! Please!” The man yelled as the door swung shut.

Behind the one-way glass once more, Jeno and Johnny watched the man squirm, sweat beginning to stain his cheap suit as his panic became evident.

“Please! I have information! Valuable information!” He yelled at the empty room, unable to see the two detectives behind the one-way glass.

“What do you think?” Johnny asked Jeno in a low voice.

“It’s not the first time a lacky from the syndicate showed up at our door.” Jeno answered

Johnny nodded.

“Maria is too smart, there’s no way any of the info this bum can supply us with will take her or her network down.” Jeno continued, stating the obvious.

“Na-Medical Corp is a front!” the man yelled, spilling his guts in panic. “The company and all of its hospitals is used to launder money!”

But they already knew that. Interpol knew all about the Ahn syndicate and Na-Medical and their dealings. But finding proof was their biggest challenge. They could never get any solid evidence and the head of the family was impossible to pin down and nothing they ever got on her organisations stuck. For over a decade, she slipped through the fingers of frustrated law enforcement.

Jeno sighed tiredly, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Cut him loose, he can’t do anything for us.” He said, Johnny nodded and made to leave.

“I can get you in! I can get a man inside! Please just listen!” the man screamed, his voice cracking from his hysterics. He was squirming in his seat in panic, wrists red from the cuffs.

Johnny froze at the door, meeting Jeno’s eye over his shoulder. Johny opened his mouth to speak, but Jeno held up his hand to stop him. _Wait_.

Jeno wanted to hear what else the man had to say before showing any interest.

“My nephew –“ be began to blubber. Jeno hissed in disgust as he realized the man had started to cry. “My nephew was supposed to stay with me this year. Madam Na already approved -” He hesitated. 

Jeno and Johnny leaned forward in interest. Perhaps this was their chance.

“Take his place. Send a cop in his place.” The man continued, his voice shaking, tears and snot streaking his face.

“We’ve never been able to get someone on the inside.” Johnny muttered, thinking deeply.

Jeno remained silent, rubbing his chin in thought.

Jeno broke the silence; “Call Captain Wong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback always welcome :) 
> 
> I hope you guys can love reading this as much as I loved writing it <3 Saya


	3. Sketchy Outlines

“This is… insane” Ten exclaimed, rubbing his hands through his hair as he surveyed the mess in front of him. They’re unit has been holed up in the conference room for nearly 12 hours, going through piles of photos, documents and evidence. Screens and monitors lining the walls, showing profiles and various forms of footage.

“I think it’s too risky.” Taeil said softly, worry creasing his brows. Everyone looked to their Captain, who had barely said anything all day except for asking some logistical questions.

“This might be our only chance.” Johnny said leaning on the desk, looking around the room. Their unit had been together all throughout recruitment, the academy and the field. They were friends, family. And the idea of sending one of their own into a viper’s nest, was unnerving.

“We need to decide. And soon. There is a lot of work and planning we need to do if we’re gonna go through with this.” Mark stated, before turning to their captain.

Silence fell as Yukhei didn’t respond.

“Cap?” YangYang prompted.

After a brief pause, Yukhei looked up at his team and said slowly “Start prepping.”

The tension didn’t leave the room yet, as there was one question still on everyone’s minds. 

“Cap, who’s gonna go?” Mark asked, stating what everyone was feeling.

“Do we have all the info on the kid?” Yukhei asked, referring to the nephew one of them was to replace. YangYang handed him a stack of documents as WinWin pulled up a profile of Lee MinHo on the main screen.

A mugshot of a scowling young man popped up, along with his bio. Yukhei signalled for WinWin to brief them on the kid they were supposed to snatch before their mission could even begin.

“Lee Minho. 22 years old, originally from Busan, some minor run-ins with the law, currently living in Paris. Deceased mother, absentee father. Has recently requested to stay with his uncle upon his return to Seoul. According to his social media, he likes to drink and party but has recently run into some bad debt. Intends to return to Korea to join his uncle with the Ahn and, I quote ‘ _get_ _rich and ditch_ '. No known associates or other family members present in Korea.” WinWin said, reading some information off of his tablet as he showed various clips and pictures of the boy on the monitor.

“There’s only one person I can think of who can pull this off.” Yukhei said. Suddenly all eyes fell on Jeno, they had been thinking the exact same thing.

“I’ll do it” Jeno said without waiting for his Captain to explain further. As if with a collective sigh, the tension left the room and the team got to work. Now that they had decided, there was no turning back, they could only go forward and prepare as best they can for the most insane assignment of their careers.

Jeno looked around the room once more as the weight of what he was taking on settled on his shoulders. He was surrounded by his team, the people who he cherished more than anything in this world. They were recruited from all across the world at impossibly young ages, and together they had survived gruelling training and had faced death on numerous occasions. But they had not always made it out unscathed, Jeno thought as he looked at the burn scar on Mark’s arm, Ten’s clipped ear, Jaehyun’s split eyebrow and Taeil's cane that leaned against the wall behind him.

His six teammates were pouring over documents and computers, talking and arguing in hurried voices. They had to completely erase every trace of MinHo and replace him with Jeno, creating an entire fake life and background as if Lee MinHo had never existed and it had always been Lee Jeno.

“Jeno, contact the mole and tell him we’re on” his captain said, cutting through Jeno’s thoughts. He scolded himself, he should _not_ be daydreaming right now.

“Jaehyun, Johnny – you’re on the next train to Paris to pick up the kid. YangYang did you get approval from wit-sec?” YangYang nodded.

“Brief them with as little information as possible and get the safe house set up before the end of today. We need to be quick about this, and keep it tight. We don’t know how much the Ahn already know.”

Jeno pulled out his phone and texted the untraceable device he had given their little rat before they had left Korea and returned to France.

_It’s on._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wit-sec is short for witness protection
> 
> xxx


	4. Apathy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: blood, death, violence and gunshots.

Jaemin was bored and his wrists and ankles hurt from the ropes tying him to the chair. He pouted as he looked around for the umpteenth time. He had hoped that Yuta and Doyoung would be here by now, but it had been about an hour since he had tapped his messages, but there was still no sign of them.

Jaemin felt a slight pang of irritation at having to be stuck there instead of being on campus with his friends getting ready for his exam. He huffed and blew a strand of white hair out of his eyes.

_Might as well do something useful,_ he thought and began revising his work in his head.

He had been studying for weeks and really wanted to do well today. A small voice in the back of his head tried to tell him that this was not normal, he had just been _kidnapped_ and he might _die_ soon. Yet Jaemin wasn’t even scared or worried. He had been through a lot in his 21 years of life, but his mother had also made sure he was prepared for a lot worse.

Done with his Pre-clinical anatomy mental revision, Jaemin was considering moving on to bio-chemistry when another thug approached him with a cell phone.

Jaemin looked up at him with a scowl as he stood before him. He shoved the phone in Jaemin’s face, “Talk” he snapped.

“Nana?” Came is mom’s voice. She sounded neither worried nor afraid.

“Hi mama” he said nonchalantly.

“Are you okay baby?” she asked, she was genuinely concerned but she was neither hysterical nor upset, not as one would expect a mother of a kidnapped son to be.

“Yeah, I’m good. I just don’t want to miss my test.” He said with a pout.

“Don’t worry baby, you won’t”

The thug in front of him frowned at the odd exchange. This was not what they had planned or expected. They were supposed to demand a massive ransom after Maria Na heard the cries of her only son, and she was supposed to give it to them.

“What the fu –“ the man began, stepping back from Jaemin when suddenly he was interrupted by the squeal of tires and the shouts of his colleagues as three slick black SUVs barrelled into the warehouse.

_Finally_. Jaemin sighed.

Men in suits jumped out of the vehicles and with the sharp whistle of silenced bullets, three bodies dropped to the ground. The ‘confrontation’ was over in seconds.

One of the thugs had been purposefully shot in the leg instead of the head, and was trying his best to crawl away from the scene, pathetic whimpers escaping his lips.

Two of the suits broke away from the group and rushed over to Jaemin on the far side of the warehouse.

“Took you long enough” he teased with a smile and gave each man a hug once they released him from his bonds.

“I’m really tired of saving your ass, you know.” Yuta said with a smile, patting Jaemin on the shoulder.

“You should be thankful you’re so pretty, ‘cause you’re a lot of trouble.” Doyoung said, ruffling his hair.

Jaemin stuck out his tongue, a perfectly _normal_ exchange between close friends even though the smell of blood started to waft through the warehouse. 

The three headed back to the cars, Jaemin rubbing his aching wrists. Just then one car door opened and out stepped a tall woman clad in a perfectly tailored red suit, her impossibly high heels clicking on the concrete floor.

“Mama!” Jaemin called and rushed over to her.

“Nana!” She said pulling him into a warm hug, her long silky black hair swishing at the motion.

“Mama, you shouldn’t be here. It’s dangerous.” Jaemin said as he pulled out of her embrace.

“Oh hush.” She said looking at his face, her perfect face darkened as she took stock of his split lip and bruised cheek. “Are you alright my love?” She asked softly, gently cupping his face.

“I’ll be okay.” He said with a small smile. “I just really want to go write my test.” He said with a pout.

“We can go in a sec baby, let mama just clean up here okay?” She dropped her hands and stepped away from him, a smile still on her face.

Such a tender moment between him and his mother amidst the bodies of people her men had just shot to death. This life was so normal to Jaemin, this was all he had ever known. It never scared him, he was hardly ever afraid of anything. What _did_ scare him was how easy this life was for him.

He knew everything about his mother and the things she did. She had raised him openly, discussing all of her legal and illegal business dealings, he knew exactly what she was capable of. He also knew how much she loved him. Aside from the fact that she was the head of a crime family and the most feared woman in all of Asia, she was still an incredible mom to him and he loved and trusted her.

Jaemin sighed, not willing to think about the fact that he wasn’t bothered by his fucked-up life at all.

He clambered into nearest SUV as he heard another sharp whistle, signalling the end of the fourth thug. Soon, his mom joined him in the backseat with Yuta and Doyoung in front and soon they peeled out of the warehouse, back to the city.

“Who were they?” Jaemin asked his mom.

“He didn’t have much to say, but I have an idea. We’ll know soon.” She said with a smile, patting Jaemin’s thigh.

Jaemin looked out the window thinking which of his mom’s enemies could be after him this time, but he couldn’t think of anyone who would be this stupid and botch a kidnapping this badly. His thoughts drifted as he looked out the window, when it suddenly dawned on him. His friends.

“Mama! My friends! They - !” He exclaimed, his eyes wide with panic. They had seen him get taken, they must be so worried about him. Jaemin couldn’t believe he forgot about his best friends. None of this was normal or okay for them, even if it was just another day for Jaemin, his friends could be really traumatized by seeing him getting pulled off the street and stuffed in a van.

“Don’t worry baby, I already called them. They’re okay and they know you are okay too. I also invited them over tonight, I know you would want to see them.” She said softly.

Jaemin sighed in relief, leaning over and giving her a peck on the cheek. Knowing her, she had probably already squished any media reports of the incident and anyone with footage or pictures of what happened to him, would just suddenly find their phones miraculously erased. That is if there were any pictures or reports to begin with, seeing as how quickly he was taken and rescued.

“What time is it?” He asked no one in particular.

“It’s almost 4pm” Yuta answered from the front.

“My test is at 6, I can still go right?” He asked his mom.

“Of course, Nana. Do you feel up to it?”

He nodded.

“Alight let’s get you cleaned up. Do you want to head home or to the shop?” She asked

“Hmmm” Jaemin thought. “Let’s go to the shop, their new intern is cute.”

His mom laughed.

As they drove through the streets of Seoul, Jaemin refused to think about the fact that he was kidnapped that morning for the fourth time. Or that he had seen his mother’s people shoot four people in the head, blood spraying like mist as bodies thumped to the ground. He refused to think about the fact that his beloved mom, who raised him and loved him with everything in her, was a cold-blooded killer who built an empire on a mountain of bodies.

Instead, he forced himself to think about his test. Instead he thought about the cute boy who would be styling his hair and doing his makeup. He thought about his friends and the games they would play that night and the junk food they would eat.  
  


It was just another day for Na Jaemin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)
> 
> Hang in there, Nomin will meet soon. 
> 
> Feedback always welcome <3
> 
> xx Saya


	5. Up Down

**5:45pm.**

The SUV halted in front of the university gates, it’s thick wheels and dark windows quickly drawing onlookers. 

“Good luck sweetie.” Na Maria said as she gave her son a hug.

“Thanks mom, I’ll see you later.” He hugged her back, inhaling the sweet perfume he was so accustomed to.

“I’ll send Yuta to come pick you up at 7, okay?”

“See you later mom!” He called as he clambered out of the car, swinging is backpack over his shoulder.

He heard the door shut behind him and the car drive off. Luckily his hair was freshly washed and styled, his bruise and busted lip covered up and he was dressed in comfortable skinny jeans and an oversized mint hoodie. In the eyes of everyone around him, he looked perfect and not at all like he was tied to a chair being punched in the face by criminals just a few hours ago.

“Jaemin!”

“Hey Nana!”

“Jaem! How have you been?”

People called from all around him. He smiled broadly and greeted everyone back, chatting here and there. Soon a whole circle of people gathered around him, talking happily – some friends and familiar faces and some strangers among them, vying for his attention.

Of course, the stunningly handsome heir to Na-Medical Corp was a hot commodity on campus. Not only was he rich as the devil himself, he was top of his class and had such a warm disposition that everyone wanted to be his friend.

“Sorry guys, I’ve got to go” He said smiling at his friends and admirers, bowing politely.

“Good luck on your test Nana!”

“You’re amazing Jaem!”

He waved at the little crowd and smiled over his shoulder as he rushed through campus toward the exam venue.

**6:00pm.**

Jaemin entered the large venue, filled with pre-clinical med students like himself. He felt the stares on him, he was used to it by now and honestly it wasn’t a burden to him at all. A few hands waved at him as he entered, and he smiled brightly and waved back feeling warm.

Jaemin headed to his designated seat and sat down. At the signal of the professor, he turned the paper over and began to answer the questions. Without hesitating or considering, he could answer each question right away. Who knew that the revision he had done earlier that afternoon with blood on his face and hands tied behind his back, would be so useful.

**7:00pm.**

“Time’s up. Pencils down.” The professor called. Jaemin sighed happily and leaned back in his chair, stretching his aching back. Nailed it.

As he exited the venue, there were some people waiting for him.

“Hey Jaem!”

“Hi Nana!”

“How was the test?”

“Yo it was so hard!” He said, faking his frustration.

He didn’t like lying, but he really liked his classmates and never wanted to make them feel bad for struggling with a test he found easy. He knew that his identity as a Na could easily ostracize others, so he always put in extra effort to seem relatable, even if in reality his life was the exact opposite.

“Pfft whatever man” Han scoffed with a smile “You’re gonna nail it.”

“No, seriously! Like what the fuck was that section on the integumentary system?” Jaemin replied, gesturing dramatically.

“Ugh right! This was just our first mid-term. I don’t even wanna think about bio-chem next week” Tzuyu whined.

“Okay, okay, okay let’s stop talking about school, ya’ll making me depressed.” Han complained.

“Let’s go drink instead!” Felix suggested

“Yeah!” the group called in unison.

“You coming Nana?” Chan asked as the group began to move down the hall.

“I already have plans, thanks though man. Next time!”

“Alright – see you Jaem!” Chan called

“Bye Nana!” The others greeted as they walked away.

Jaemin loved his classmates, but he wasn’t sorry he couldn’t hang out with them that night. He really wanted to see his best friends.

**8:00pm**

“Jaemin you motherfucker!” Donghyuck called as he launched himself into Jaemin’s arms.

“Hey Hyuckie!” Jaemin called and hugged his friend back.

“We were so scared Nana” Chenle said as he stepped through the door into the Na mansion.

“I’m so sorry you guys” Jaemin said as he detangled himself from Hyuck.

“You’re okay now right?” Chenle asked, putting his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder.

“Yeah I’m fine. Nothing bad happened and they didn’t hurt me – Yuta hyung and Doyoung hyung found me really quickly. I even got to write my exam” He smiled brightly, trying his best to reassure his friends, but he could see the worry and the doubt in their eyes.

Could he really be okay? He _looked_ fine, which was extremely odd for someone who had been _kidnapped_ just that morning.

“Guys can you just come in so we can have some fun?” Jaemin huffed, stepping aside to let all his friends in.

Quickly changing the topic, Jaemin began chatting about random things. What movie they were going to watch, did they want to get a bit drunk or just play games. His friends talked with him, reluctantly at first but as they made their way through the massive mansion, their conversations reached its normal level of volume and energy. They just assumed that what happened that day was too difficult to talk about, so they would indulge Jaemin and pretend everything is fine.

As they entered the kitchen, Jaemin spotted his mom making coffee, dressed in an expensive Fendi tracksuit and fluffy Gucci slippers.

She turned at the noise and her face immediately brightened.

“Mom!” Hyuck called excitedly, launching himself at Maria.

“Hyuckie, my darling sunshine. How have you been?” She cooed at him, returning his warm hug.

“Really good! Just missed you lots though.” Hyuck teased with a wink. She swatted at him good naturedly before turning to the other boys.

“Lele, angel it’s so nice to see you!” She called, hugging him tightly. “You too mom!” He replied happily.

“Jisungie, I swear you’re taller every time I see you.” She teased, embracing the youngest.

“Hi mama” Renjun replied shyly. “Injunnie, love. Come here” she said opening her arms for another hug. He stepped into her embrace and hugged her tightly.

“I’m so happy all of you are here” She said smiling at the boys around her. They had practically grown up in her house. For nearly 20 years they had been her children as much as Jaemin was.

“Uhm.. mom?” Renjun asked softly.

“Mm?”

“About today…” he began, wanting to ask his second mom what exactly happened.

“Oh, you must have been so scared!” She said taking Renjun’s hand. “Don’t worry about it, Nana is home and safe and the police already made an arrest.” She lied

“This happened to me in the past too” she said, this time it was the truth “Unfortunately it’s to be expected if you’re a Na” she smiled sadly at Renjun.

“We’ll work on some better security for Nana, I think”

Jaemin raised his eyebrows at that, he didn’t want his own bodyguards like his mom had. He’ll definitely have to bring it up to her later.

The boys visibly relaxed, satisfied with her response. The whole situation still felt quite odd and scary and Renjun was still unsure, he somehow felt like Jaemin was hiding something.

_Later_. He thought, now was not the time. 

“Nana you boys will be okay right?” she asked, turning to Jaemin dropping Renjun’s hand. He nodded with a smile.

“The staff are already gone so you would need to order food if you want to eat. I’ll be in my office if you need anything okay, baby?” she said softly, before turning to leave.

“Bye mom!” all five boys called as she left.

“Bro, your mom is just the best.” Hyuck said with a dramatic sigh.

The five of them had been friends since before kindergarten and had been together almost all their lives. Jaemin’s mom had done everything for them, like she was their real mom and in some cases she was even better than their real mom’s. She had picked them up after school, cheered at soccer and basketball games, attended recitals, helped with homework. Even now, she was paying for Chenle’s and Hyuck’s tuition.

For a brief moment, Jaemin wondered what would happen if they knew the truth. If they had seen the woman in the red suit with murder in her eyes. 

Just as quickly as the thought came, it left. He would rather his friends adore and love the beautiful, warm woman they knew her to be.

“You think the cellar is unlocked?” Chenle asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“That’s a terrible idea” Hyuck said. “Let’s go”

**8:00am**

Maria softly opened the door to her son’s bedroom and smiled at the scene that met her. Empty wine bottles, crushed beer cans, an assortment of snacks and half-eaten pizza in boxes littered the room’s floor.

Five boys were tangled together and sleeping on Jaemin’s king sized-bed, the small pile of bodies snoring softly.

Her heart warmed at the sight of her children so happy and carefree, a bad hangover their only worry.

Closing the door softly, the smile slid off her face as she marched down the hall, her heels clicking harshly on the marble floor.

It was time to deal with that fucker who dared touch her son.

As Maria drove out of the garage in her black Bugatti Chiron Super Sport, she gunned the engine and headed to the location punched into her GPS. 

She'll start her day with paying that traitor's daughter a nice, _friendly_ visit.


	6. Heart of a Saint, Life of a Sinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: homophobia, weapons, knives

Jeno looked out of the plane window and took a swig of the cheap whiskey in his hand, ice clinking softly.

After 6 months of gruelling preparations and sleepless nights, he was finally on his way back to Korea. Alone.

He thought about his team, his friends. They’ll join him in Korea soon as support, but for now he was by himself. They didn’t know to what extent Maria has already been watching him, and having a group of twenty-somethings, who were very clearly not casual tourists, arrive with him, would be incredibly suspicious. He couldn’t even touch base with local law enforcement, half of the Seoul Police department were probably on the Na payroll.

He knew for a fact she had already dug up everything she could about him, so his back story had to be airtight. Their unit had done an expert job of erasing MinHo completely and replacing him with Jeno. Even photoshopping yearbooks from the high school he was supposed to have gone to and setting up fake socials that stretched back years, filled with photos of parties and girls and cars.

Jeno played with his earring, deep in thought. He even had his ears pierced for this assignment – two small silver hoops in each ear. They had been surprised with how many things he and MinHo actually had in common. Not only were they the same age, but they also shared quite a bit of their pasts as well. MinHo grew up with a deadbeat dad, Jeno had a deadbeat mom who walked out when he was 8. MinHo’s mom was barely at home, Jeno had a dad who cared more about his career than his son. After Minho’s mom died he was alone at 18, after Jeno’s dad died he was alone at 15.

Jeno was lucky, he thought. He wouldn’t have to lie or act too much seeing as the life of the person who he was supposed to be, was quite similar to his in many ways. Having his undercover identity be as close to the real one, would make everything easier. He couldn’t worry too much about keeping his story straight if his goal was to gather evidence and avoid suspicion. And the kid’s standoffish personality also matched his own. One thing that his team had to work especially hard on though, was Jeno’s background in martial arts. There was no way he would be able to hide the fact that he knew how to throw down or pretend like he was useless in a fight, never mind the fact that Minho’s life of drinking and hooking-up would never explain Jeno’s physique.

He sighed and downed the last bit of his drink. Leaning back, he closed his eyes and mentally ran through their plan one more time.

_Hurry up! It’s gonna be packed soon!_ A text from Hyuck.

 _On my way!_ Jaemin texted back. He was not on his way.

Jaemin was still in front of the mirror perfecting his makeup. He took a step back and checked his handiwork. Wearing fitted black pants and a loose silk shirt, with glitter on his eyes and fine diamonds in his ears, he looked every bit like a model or idol. Satisfied, he gave himself another once over. He paused, 6 months after the kidnapping and his busted lip had scarred. Jaemin pouted as he saw the small, thin white line that clipped his upper lip. Of course, he was still breath-taking, but a little less cute and a little more edgy with the scar.

_Whatever_.

Jaemin grabbed his phone and wallet and headed toward the garage.

He rushed down the stairs, skipping the last two. Considering what he was in the mood for, he looked around the large room filled with cars and bikes. Some were for show, others for speed and some for muscle - and all of them his. His mom had a separate garage for her cars and the third garage at the back of the compound, was for their fleet and staff vehicles.

_Ooh, that one_. Jaemin thought as he spotted his new black and yellow Ducati Streetfighter V4S.

Grabbing the keys and a leather jacket off the wall behind him, he headed out.

Jeno looked at the city lights of Seoul as they flew by. He had left Korea for Europe when he was just 15, and he never thought he would be back to stay long-term. He couldn’t wait to leave again, Korea held nothing but bad memories for him. When this assignment concludes successfully (he hopes) after maybe 1 year or 2, he would be on the next flight out, back to France.

Sighing heavily, preparing himself for what he was about to walk into, Jeno looked to his left at the driver. The nervous little rat was gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles had turned white. Jeno was still a bit annoyed that he showed up at the airport to pick Jeno up, when that was not what they had planned. He knew that the movement of each car is monitored, so having the SUV go the airport without picking him up would seem extremely suspicious, so Jeno didn’t have a choice but to get in. The initial plan was to take the bus, and check out and set-up a small safehouse on his way to the compound. He’ll just have to do that later. He already hated this. Hated the fact that the very first step of their game-plan had already been compromised and he was forced to do something he hated: improvise. He was a professional, an agent and detective for Interpol. Every one of his missions has always been planned to the T, airtight. Why was this one already coming undone?

“Soo Man, relax” he commanded. He still couldn’t believe his fate rested in the hands of the pathetic little man. Soo Man could break any minute and spill his guts to Maria, which would effectively kill Jeno. If it wasn’t for the fact that there was a very high probability that the SUV was bugged, Jeno would have ripped the pathetic little man a new one. His very existence was infuriating.

At least Jeno knew he wasn’t walking into a trap. Soo Man barely had the spine to betray Maria, let alone play double agent and try and lure Interpol in.

The little man nodded slowly and tried to even out his breathing to no avail. Jeno grunted in disgust.

Jeno, who had grown up in Seoul, began to recognise some of the prefectures they were driving through as they headed for the Na compound, and as they entered Pyeongchang-dong, tension settled on his shoulders as he readied himself.

_This is it._

Jaemin laughed at a joke Hyuck cracked at their table. The boys sat comfortably around a low table filled with drinks as music pulsed lazily around them, the blue, pink and purple lights of the club making everything appear euphoric and dreamy. They chatted and joked, and did some shots, not in a hurry to have a wild night, but just wanting to let loose a bit as their exams were fast approaching.

“Let’s go dance!” Chenle suggested. Jumping to their feet, the group left the VVIP lounge and headed for the dance floor, attracting a lot of attention as five gorgeous young men dressed expensively, put together perfectly as if each had just stepped off a runway.

For hours they danced, and drank, laughed and whispered together, exchanged numbers with cute strangers.

Feeling slightly tipsy, buzzing with happiness, they headed outside for some fresh air, not completely ready to leave yet.

“I love you guys!” Hyuck said, slightly slurring his words as he flung his arms around Jisung and Chenle.

“Ew.” Renjun teased as they climbed the last of the steps, feeling fresh air on their faces.

Playground was the hottest LGBTQ+ club in Seoul, so it was no wonder that even at 2am there was still a line of people outside waiting to get in. It was also their favourite place to go dancing, so they were well known, and liked, by all the employees and owners. It of course helped that Jaemin was a known big spender and the gorgeous group of friends would always attract more customers.

Jaemin waved at the bouncer as they stepped outside, the man waved back with a smile. Jaemin sighed happily, it was almost time for finals, so this would be their last night out for a while. Just as he turned to his friends, Hyuck still clinging to Jisung and Chenle, an angry voice came from behind him.

“Disgusting fags!” someone yelled. Jaemin’s eyes grew wide as anger flashed in his mind at the slur. He wheeled around, ready to kick ass and saw a large drunken man coming his way.

“Die you whore!” He screamed at Jaemin, and lunged forward. “Knife!” Jaemin heard Jisung yell just as he saw a flash of silver aimed at his chest.


	7. Poison

Jeno and Soo Man reached one of the back entrances to the Ahn-compound, security guards in suits and shades manning the gate, semi-automatic weapons in hand as if it was just the most normal thing in the world.

Jeno and his team had poured over blueprints and aerial shots for weeks, he had the layout perfectly memorised. But now that he was here, he was begrudgingly impressed with the place. It was almost a small town, its own ecosystem, nestled in the middle of the richest area of Seoul. The main house where the family stayed, was in the centre surrounded on all four sides by beautiful gardens filled with exotic animals and plants.

_Is that a fucking albino peacock?_

They drove through the gate down the paved path toward the back of the compound, people in uniforms and suits bustling about. According to their intel, everyone who worked on the compound also lived there with the Na family as well as those in the highest tiers of the syndicate. Small homes were scattered in the jungle like garden around the main house for those who had families, and for those who were single or without children, three two-story apartment buildings had been built along the back perimeter, a good distance away from the main mansion.

Na Maria, or Maria Ahn as she used to be known, had come a long way from the dirty underbelly of Seoul. The daughter of a mob boss, she had grown up around drugs, money and guns and quickly became a vital part of her dad’s crime ring. Until she nearly died from a knife wound, but was luckily saved by the one and only Dr Na Soohyun. Natuallry they just _had_ to go and fall in love and get married.

Their story quickly became viral. From all of the attention they got, Dr Soohyun established Na-Medical Corp, currently the best bio-medical research company in all of Asia. Until he was killed in a drive by shooting outside one of his very own hospitals. Maria Ahn quickly made a comeback, avenged him and elevated her criminal past from drug deals in allies and gambling dens, to billion-dollar heists and the selling of military grade weaponry. Unbeknownst to the public of course, to them she was just the widowed business women carrying on with her dead husband’s legacy.

Jeno didn’t want to be impressed, all of the riches before his eyes were paid for (mostly) by the illegal dealings of a crime family. But he couldn’t help but marvel at the sheer _size_ of the facilities. He also had to admire Maria’s smarts. By keeping everyone who worked closely with her and the family on site, she could monitor them carefully. And naturally employees who were taken care of well, were more likely to be loyal to her. Jeno doubted if anyone who worked here would be willing to help him and risk leaving their comfortable lives, even if they had to spend their days washing the underwear of a mass murderess.

Except for Soo Man, apparently. The weasel. Jeno was still unsure as to the motivation for his betrayal, it was probably something stupid. But he had to make progress on this case as quickly as possible, he clearly couldn’t rely on Soo Man to be of any help or to even stick to a simple plan. Jeno was going to have to put in a lot of effort, and make some difficult choices, to work himself up into the organisation as quickly as he can so he could cut ties with the mole and protect himself as much as he could. Ten and Mark wouldn’t be arriving for 3 more months, he had to stay alive until then at least and infiltrate the syndicate if it was at all even possible.

After parking in the underground fleet garage among almost 30 identical black SUVs, the two headed up an elevator in silence. Soo Man also lived on the premises, in one of the apartment buildings and Jeno would be staying with him (and keeping a close eye on him) for the duration if his undercover mission.

They entered the small two-bedroom apartment. It was neat with modern fixtures and a small balcony looking out on one corner of the forest like garden. Jeno kept calm, his face neutral as he dumped his bag on the bed he has been given. The room was small and plain, free of any decoration or personal belongings. Just as Jeno was about to look around to see if he could spot any cameras or taps, a phone rang.

_Who still uses a landline?_

Soo Man answered weakly “Hello?”

Pause

“Understood”

Jeno exited his room to see what the call was about.

“She wants to see you. Alone.” Soo Man mumbled, fear dripping off every word.

_Fuck._

_(* note: carrd for this fic:<https://adreamwithinadream.carrd.co> )_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update today, get ready for the next chapter >:)  
> Nomin are finally meeting and it's a doozy. huihuihuihui
> 
> Feedback always welcome xxxx


	8. Viva La Fuck You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy #JAEHYUNDAY!

“We’ve been caught! She knows!” Soo Man began, his sweaty face twisted in panic. Jeno had to try really, really hard to not roll his eyes

“Calm do – “

“No! You don’t understand! She never ever meets new people so soon!” and queue the water works and wringing of hands. Jeno had enough, he was cutting ties with this dead weight, he stood a better chance alone. The plan had already somewhat gone to shit so making sure he wasn’t dependent on Soo Man might not be a bad thing at this point.

Lunging forward, he grabbed Soo Man by his throat and slammed him harshly against the wall. Dragging him up to eye level, the little man squalled in protest, clawing at Jeno’s hand at his neck.

“You will do nothing. You will say nothing. You will not talk to me, you will not talk to anyone. Understand?” Jeno threatened through gritted teeth. Soo Man just looked at him with big frightened eyes.

“I said, do you understand?” Jeno repeated, giving the man a good shake.

“Y-yes! Yes, I understand” His voice cracking

“If you do absolutely _anything_ to compromise this mission, you can kiss your deal goodbye. And I’ll have your _head_.” Jeno let the man go and he crumpled to the floor in a pitiful heap of snot and hiccups.

Jeno grabbed his stuff from the room and headed out, slamming the door behind him. He breathed in deeply, he felt a bit bad for being so aggressive with Soo Man, but the man only responded to threats so Jeno hoped that he would listen this time and just stay out of the way.

Taking the stairs, Jeno made his way to the ground floor, his duffle bag over his shoulder. There was a good chance that the apartment was bugged and someone sitting in a security office somewhere had just seen him manhandle his ‘uncle’, he sincerely hoped they would chalk it up to him being an enormous asshat.

Jeno stepped out of the building onto a path that wound off in multiple directions, people in uniforms and suits still bustling about even though night had just fallen. He flagged down a nearby maid and asked her how to get to the main house.

She hesitated before speaking softly, not meeting his eye, “Sir, unfortunately you can’t just show up there. Do y-“

“I’ll take him” someone called from behind him.

The maid bowed and scurried off, not looking back.

Jeno turned and saw a tall man in a very expensive suit walk toward him, his long white hair glimmering in the moonlight. He immediately recognised him, he had seen his face hundreds of time in the intel WinWin had collected.

Nakamota Yuta.

Close family ties to the Japanese Yakuza, grew up in the Na household as part of some business arrangement. COO of Na-Medical Corp by day and big bad gangster by night.

As he reached Jeno, he stuck out his hand.

“Yuta”

Mustering his inner MinHo, Jeno just looked at his hand and back up at his face, silently rejecting the handshake. God he must have a death wish being so blatantly rude to someone who was obviously quite high up in the organisation just going off of his attire, handsome face and oozing confidence.

Yuta’s eyes flashed with annoyance as he stuck his hands in his pockets.

“Some manners could do you some good around here kid.”

He turned to leave and Jeno followed.

After a good 15 minutes of walking and jungle-bashing, they finally reached a service entrance. Even though he was tired and sweaty, he remained alert, mentally cataloguing everything he had seen. They made their way through the kitchen, and some empty hallways before coming to a halt outside massive, black and gold wooden doors. It looked like the entrance to hell. Knowing the blueprints off by heart, this was her office.

Preparing himself to either get shot in the head, or make a huge breakthrough in the case, he took a deep breath and followed Yuta in.

Stepping through, he immediately looked for an escape route if he needed to get away. There were none. Unless he was willing to jump through floor-to-ceiling windows on his left and plummet 3 storeys into the jungle.

He wasn’t stupid enough to risk bringing any concealed weapons and looking at Yuta’s back, he didn’t think he would be able to take him in a fight. Jeno sighed internally, he was going to have to ride this meeting out and hope he doesn’t die.

Yuta turned and presented Jeno to Na Maria, who was sitting behind a dark wooden desk. Jeno made a show of looking around at the richly decorated office, acting his part. Black marble floors, golden chandeliers, dark wooden furniture and luxurious leather couches. The space glittered and shone like something from a movie set. Jeno wondered if this office was for business or just a massive flex on her part. Finally, his eyes rested on Maria herself.

Dressed in all white, black hair pulled back from her face and lips painted red, she looked every bit the fierce businesswoman (and mob boss) that she was.

“Welcome to my home, MinHo. We-“ she began

“Jeno.” He corrected her. He could feel Yuta’s eyes bore holes into the back of his skull.

“MinHo is the name my deadbeat mom gave me. I prefer Jeno.”

Maria leaned back and laughed, surprising both Yuta and Jeno. 

“Good to know you have more balls than your uncle, Jeno.” She said, still smiling.

“Why am I here?” He asked

“I have a proposition for you.” She said, folding her hands, long nails and rings clinking. Her big dark eyes glimmering sinisterly. 

“Like a job?” He asked, acting dumb.

“Yes, a job” she said slowly, as if talking to a small child.

“I’ll think about it.” He said. _Shit this dickhead persona of MinHo is going to get me killed. Cross my heart hope to_ not _die._

Maria raised an eyebrow at his response. After a brief pause, she continued.

“You will be staying here, Yuta will show you to your room. You will have your interview tomorrow at 8am, be ready.”

“Interview?” he asked, unsure. It sounded very much _not_ like an interview. Maria had already turned away from him, paging through files piled on her desk. Obviously dismissed, Jeno didn’t want to push his luck and press her for answers, she might just kill him with a pencil.

He turned away to the door, where Yuta was already waiting. Closing the door behind them, Yuta made his way down a different hallway. Through halls and different rooms, the mostly open-plan mansion with its high ceilings and wall-like windows, was colossal. He still didn’t understand why this obscene display of wealth was necessary, seeing as a total of 4 people lived there.

Finally reaching the east wing, Yuta stopped in front of what seemed like a bedroom door, one of 4 similar doors in that particular hall.

“This is you.” He said, smiling good naturedly as if Jeno didn’t just figuratively flip him and his boss off. Yuta reached in his pocket and pulled out a phone and a set of keys, handing it to Jeno he held out his other hand in silent question.

Sighing, Jeno handed over his own phone – as he had expected – and took the new one from Yuta. It was just a dummy phone anyway.

“A gift from the boss.” He said handing over the keys. “You can come and go as you please, the staff have already been informed and your biometrics are loaded on the security system. Rest well and get ready for your _interview._ ” They way Yuta stressed the last word, made Jeno’s heartbeat stutter. What the hell was this interview?

_How the fuck did they get a hold of my biometrics?_

Jeno nodded in thanks and Yuta turned to leave.

“Hey man, where can I go for a good time?” He called down the hallway at Yuta’s back. Without turning back, he answered simply, “Itaewon. Playground”

Freshly showered and dressed, Jeno grabbed his new phone, some cash, the keys and a small undetectable communication device, and headed out. It was only natural for him to spend his first night back in Seoul out partying. Jeno just needed to contact his team and brief them on everything that had happened. He was going to wing it from here on out, the unpredictable events of today had seriously compromised their original plan.

Taking a couple minutes to snoop around, he peeked inside the room across from his and frowned. Where his room was grey and masculine and cold, this room was bright and picturesque and warm. Decorated in pastels with rose-gold accents, fairylights and loads of books, Jeno wondered whose room it was. Knowing there were probably cameras in the hall, he didn’t go inside but just closed the door again and quickly glanced into the other two rooms down the hall. They were similar to his with modern, monochrome cool blue and green interiors.

Done snooping, he walked through the house, pretending to look for the garage. He wandered through dining rooms, lounges and other areas until he finally reached some stairs going down near the west wing. Pretending to not know you’re being watched was a bit exhausting.

Jeno entered the large space filled with expensive cars and a dozen motorcycles. Well this was one part of the mission he was _definitely_ not going to complain about. He looked down at the keys Yuta had given him of which the tag read _Harley Davidson_. There was only one Harley in the garage and it was a beautiful matt black Street Rod. A beast. Jeno whistled through his teeth. _Hot damn._

Smiling for the first time in weeks, he walked over to the bike but stopped in his tracks when he spotted something else. A black and green Kawasaki Ninja H2R. The Harley was big, bad and loud, but _this_ bike was sleek, fast and _so sexy_.

_Let’s be a bit bad._

Entirely selfish, not having anything to do with the mission and probably being counterproductive to his objective, Jeno turned to the back wall and grabbed a helmet and the keys to the Kawasaki.

Moments later, he peeled out of the garage in a blur of black and neon green, already breaking the speed limit.

“Knife!” Jaemin heard Jisung yell just as he saw a flash of silver aimed at his chest. Being much faster than a drunken asshole with a pocket knife, Jaemin stepped out of harms way. The knife missed his skin by a mile, but it nicked his loose-fitting shirt. Jaemin looked down, a gaping hole in the silk.

Ready to take revenge for his favourite shirt, Jaemin looked up just in time to see a man in a black leather jacket grab hold of the drunkard’s cuff from behind and pull. The homophobe was yanked back and down so harshly his back slapped the sidewalk. Lights out.

Jaemin gaped at the stranger as the people behind them gasped and cheered. The stranger walked over to Jaemin and in passing nudged the now passed out drunkard out of the way with the toe of his scuffed combat boot. “Trash” Jaemin heard him say.

“You okay?” he asked Jaemin softly, his deep voice rumbling in his chest. Jaemin met his eyes and swallowed nervously. The stranger’s eyes were a soft, deep brown offset by handsome, masculine features and black hair. Jaemin nodded, not trusting his voice, he had never met anyone this stunning and magnetic before. The stranger smiled slightly at him, his eyes softening. Suddenly, he took off his jacket and leaned forward to wrap it around Jaemin’s shoulders.

For just a moment, the stranger was so close to him that he could feel is warm breath on his ear, his lips _so_ close to the nape of his neck. Jaemin thought he just might faint as the stranger lingered, “Can’t forget these” he whispered, sticking his hands in the pockets of the jacket that Jaemin was now wearing to pull out a phone, keys and a packet of cigarettes. Time seemed to slow for Jaemin as his heart beat in his ears at the stranger’s nearness.

He stepped away from him, nodded in goodbye and began making his way down the street again, leaving a shell shocked Jaemin behind.

Finally gathering his last two brain cells, Jaemin wheeled around.

“Wait!” he called, the stranger ignored him and lit a cigarette as he continued to walk. He really wanted to go after him, but he wasn’t completely insane yet. Jaemin would just look for him later, he had the resources.

“Nana!” his friends ran over to him, checking his chest, his shirt. Voices overlapping

“Are you okay?”

“That was insane”

“Who was that guy?”

Jaemin didn’t respond, he couldn’t think straight. Those beautiful deep eyes and the smell of sandalwood and leather taking over his mind.

_(* note: carrd for this fic:[https://adreamwithinadream.carrd.co](https://adreamwithinadream.carrd.co/) )_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the carrd linked at the end for some aesthetics, bios and the bikes mentioned in this chapter :)
> 
> As always, feedback is welcome <3
> 
> xxx
> 
> love, Saya


	9. Sugar and Scars

Just past 3am, Jaemin wheeled into his garage, finally home. Parking his bike, he took off his helmet and shook out his hair. He was still wearing the stranger’s leather jacket, his own discarded and forgotten.

Jaemin sighed as he hung up his keys and helmet. Wait.

Where were the keys to his Kawasaki? He frowned as he looked around, not seeing the bike. Maybe someone borrowed it, there was _no way in hell_ that someone could have gotten in and stolen it.

Then something else caught his eye.

Jaemin walked over to the Harley, frown deepening. Was this his? A gift? But everyone knew he didn’t like Harley’s – they were too big and too loud. Odd.

Jaemin shook it off, he’ll ask Doyoung about it in the morning.

Desperately wanting sleep, Jaemin headed to his room and crashed on his bed fully clothed. They were having a great time up until that dick decided to wave his knife in Jaemin’s face. Safe to say after that no one was in the mood to go back inside, and everyone had soon said goodbye and gone home.

Trying his best to fall asleep, Jaemin was haunted by the man on the street. The stranger who looked and smelled so good, and those _eyes_.

“Ugh” Jaemin groaned, clearly sleep was going to evade him for a while still. Instead he got dressed in his pyjamas and washed his face before heading to the kitchen. He was going to pilfer the pantry and maybe watch a movie or play some games until he was tired enough to actually sleep.

Humming to himself, bare feet padding down the hallway, Jaemin found himself once again thinking about the stranger he had just met. He’ll ask Yuta to help him find him in the morning, so he could properly thank him. He’s not planning on returning the jacket though.

Suddenly, a muffled voice and the clatter of the fridge met Jaemin’s ears. No one else ever comes to the kitchens this late. Jaemin frowned, and squared his shoulders, ready to break the nose of whoever had invaded his home.

Swiftly rounding the corner, Jaemin was met by the sight of a fit, bare-chested man with is head in the freezer. Taking a moment to evaluate the situation, Jaemin decided he didn’t seem like a threat.

“What are you doing?” Jaemin asked

“Looking for ice-cream” the voice replied, not looking his way, rummaging away.

“Wrong freezer.” Jaemin said drily. _What is happening?_ _Did I somehow get high by accident and am now hallucinating?_

“Oh, really?” the person said, finally withdrawing from the freezer.

Jaemin gasped.

“It’s you!” he pointed. The stranger!

The man blinked at Jaemin in confusion.

“Me?” he said slowly, not following what Jaemin was getting at.

“We met outside the club! You gave me your jacket” Jaemin explained, walking closer.

“Oh. That was you. Yeah, hi” he said with a small smile. “Sorry, I didn’t recognise you. You look a lot different than before.”

Jaemin frowned. _What is_ that _supposed to mean._ Ready to read him his rights, Jaemin opened his mouth.

“You’re a lot prettier now.” The man said, promptly shutting Jaemin up.

“So uhm.. where is it?” he asked Jaemin

“What?” Once again, Jaemin thought his brain must be leaking out of his ears

“The ice-cream” he said slowly

Jaemin pointed to the far corner where the other freezer stood. The stranger walked over and opened the door to rummage through the drawers.

Jaemin blushed as he fully took in the stranger’s appearance. Grey sweatpants sat low on his hips, chiselled upper body bare, veins visible on his forearms and hands. His black hair was slightly messy, suddenly making Jaemin want to mess it up even more.

Jaemin mentally shook himself and actually tried to put a coherent sentence together.

“What are you doing in my house?” he asked, walking over to where the stranger had just pulled out a tub of mint-chocolate. Ew.

“I live here.” He said

“You live here?” Jaemin asked. _What?_

“That’s what I said.” He said, his broad back still turned to Jaemin as he rummaged through a drawer for a spoon.

“But I don’t know you. How can you live here?”

“Why does knowing you have anything to do with me living here?” he asked. Finally, he turned to Jaemin, dark eyes finding his. Jaemin gulped, his heartbeat stuttering.

“Because this is my house.” He tried his best to sound firm, this conversation was ridiculous after all, but inside he was shaking underneath the other’s gaze.

“Are you Jaemin?” he asked. Jaemin nodded.

“I’m Jeno” he said simply, as if that explained everything.

“Okay, Jeno. Now please tell me why are you in my house and how do you know my name?” Annoyance tinging his voice. He wasn’t really annoyed at Jeno, but more with himself for having a stranger upset the chemical balance in his brain to such a degree.

“Your mom asked me to stay here” he said simply, eating the ice-cream directly from the tub.

Noted. He’ll also have to talk to his mom about Jeno in the morning. Somewhat soothed, Jaemin grabbed a spoon and stood next to him. He trusted his mom and he also trusted that no one is able to get inside his home without being purposefully let in.

“Thanks for helping me tonight” Jaemin said, sticking his spoon in the tub too.

“No worries” Jeno said, mouth full of ice-cream.

“What about those?” Jaemin asked, gesturing to Jeno’s knuckles. His scarred hands had caught his attention as Jeno was digging through the tub with his spoon.

“What about them?”

_Not open to talk about it. Got it._

Jeamin remained quiet.

They could have carried on eating ice-cream together for a while still, the silence was comfortable, but once again Jaemin’s curiosity got the best of him. 

“So, where are you from?”

“I was born in Seoul, but I moved to France when I was 18.” he replied. Minho of course, had moved to Paris when he was 18, but Jeno was scooped up by Interpol and taken to Lyon when he was 15.

Jaemin could feel Jeno’s eyes on his face, but he didn’t look up from where he was leaning on the counter. Suddenly his spoon was _much_ more fascinating.

“Can you speak French?”

“I can.”

_Damn why is he so sexy. God help me I’m dying._

Mustering his courage, Jaemin looked up and once again almost fell head first into those beautiful brown orbs, his gaze was magnetic. The world around them seemed to grind to a halt as Jaemin felt his heartbeat quicken. Jeno was so close, Jaemin swore he felt the other’s body heat. For a split second, it almost seemed like Jeno wanted to close the distance between them, Jaemin held his breath. Hoping.

Instead, Jeno stepped back and said; “Goodnight” and promptly left.

Jaemin stood, frozen in place. Did they just have a _moment_?

 _Holy fuck how am I supposed to live under the same roof as_ him? Jaemin thought, putting away the half-eaten tub and spoons before heading to his room.

Jeno tossed himself on his bed exhaustion settling into his bones. He was _supposed_ to be planning his next move, prepare for the interview tomorrow, get his head in the game. So why was it that all he could think of was soft white hair falling over sparkling doe-eyes framed by long lashes? Why was it that all he could think about was a smile so bright and a smell so sweet, he could get high off of that alone?

When he had grabbed that drunken bastard on the street, he had no ulterior motive. He was passing by after sending a quick message to WinWin and discarding the communication device when he had heard the slur. The asshat just needed to be taught a lesson. It was only afterward that Jeno realised who the slur had been directed at.

Then he saw Jaemin. He recognised him immediately, he had been staring at his pretty face for months while preparing for this mission. Na Jaemin, the son of his target, was standing before him, gorgeous and glittering. Jeno had no idea what to do, he had never expected to have to interact with Jaemin at all, never mind meeting him on his _first fucking day_ in Seoul.

Jeno tried his best to brush it off, until he again met Jaemin in the kitchen not even an hour later.

 _Who walks around at 4am in the morning?_ Jeno thought, rubbing his hands over his face, like he himself wasn’t wandering around the eerily quiet mansion looking for ice-cream like an absolute moron.

Calming himself, Jeno managed to fall asleep. But his dreams were filled with Jaemin as he last saw him, fresh, clean, smiley, cute, _dazzling._

_(* note: carrd for this fic:[https://adreamwithinadream.carrd.co](https://adreamwithinadream.carrd.co/) )_


	10. Chemical Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning:  
> Mentions of torture, mentions of drug use

_Jeno watched Jaemin as he skipped happily along the beach, sand flying as the ocean waves crashed softly beside them. Jaemin turned to Jeno, not far behind, and smiled. Jeno’s heart melted as he looked at Jaemin with his stunning smile, blessed by fairy dust and starlight._

_Jeno smiled back, “Jaem, I-“_

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK

Jeno pried open his eyes, as his reality suddenly jarred into focus once more. Reminding him who he was, where he was.

“Jeno, get up. It’s almost 8” Came Yuta’s voice from behind the door.

_Shit._

He hadn’t been planning on sleeping that long, he needed to get ready for this _interview._ But he must have been more exhausted than he thought. He rolled over and groaned, “Just a sec” he called back, untangling himself from the grey sheets. The razor sharp, professional agent he had trained so hard to become was suddenly nowhere to be found.

Jumping through the shower and dressing quickly, Jeno tried his utmost to ignore the dream he had, or how he desperately wanted to go back to sleep so he could dream again.

 _I’m going insane_. He thought. Yes, that’s it. Insanity. That was the only explanation for why he was thinking about a pretty smile and sparkling eyes instead of the life or death situation he was in.

_Do your job, you dumbass._

The mission. Right. That.

Shoving all thoughts and feelings down, trying to empty his mind and regain his composure, he headed out. Calm and sharp once more. 

Yuta was waiting outside for him, this time dressed casually in slacks and a black shirt.

“Ready?” Yuta asked, Jeno nodded.

Jeno followed him to the west wing and down the stairs to Jaemin’s garage. Jeno frowned, were they leaving the compound?

Yuta walked past all the bikes and cars toward the back to where a door with a keypad was tucked away behind a pillar. Jeno’s frown deepened, this was _not_ on the blueprints he had memorised. Which meant it was built illegally, _or_ the contractors were simply bribed to not submit this part of the plans to the city.

Yuta tapped at the keypad, finger too swift for Jeno to follow. The keypad beeped and the door clicked open, allowing them in.

Once inside, Jeno looked around. It was not what he was expecting. It looked like a nurse’s office, or a small hospital wing. Soft yellow walls, a few beds and cupboards full of medicine and medical paraphernalia. A man in a white coat stood up from his desk and smiled at their arrival. Yuta stepped over to the man and they began chatting in low voices, Yuta gesturing to Jeno.

Jeno felt his heartbeat spike. What were they going to do? This was supposed to be an interview, right? Had he been compromised and now they were going to kill him? Harvest his organs? Whatever the case may be, Jeno was not going to panic and he wouldn’t go down easily. He was a detective for Interpol after all, and he had been in far worse situations than this.

Yuta waved him over. Squaring his shoulders, ready to get the hell out of there if necessary, he joined them.

“Jeno. This is Dr Qian Kun, he will be overseeing your interview.”

The Doctor smiled at him and reached out a hand. Jeno hesitated, but shook his hand anyway, not thinking it appropriate to put on his rude MinHo persona.

“Yuta, what’s going on?” He asked, impatience slightly showing. This was such a weird morning. First Yuta was taking him to an underground medical centre and now he was going to be interviewed by a Doctor? Something was _not_ right.

“Have you ever heard of Pharmacological Interrogation?” Yuta said, smiling.

And there it is. This wasn’t an interview or an interrogation, but torture.

“Uhm.. can’t you just beat me up or something? Pull some teeth?” Jeno would _much_ rather submit to physical interrogation than the medicated kind.

“We’re not _barbarians_ Jeno!” Dr Qian exclaimed, offended. Jeno wanted to laugh.

“Jeno, it’s entirely your choice. If you don’t want to do this, you can leave now. You can even keep the bike. But if you want to stay, we need to make sure you’re to be trusted” Yuta explained, placing a friendly hand on Jeno’s shoulder, making light of a potentially deadly situation. The kindness and patience Yuta was showing Jeno was at total odds with what he was asking him to do.

Knowing he didn’t have a choice, not if he wanted to stick around and succeed in his mission, he nodded.

“Let’s do it.”

Yuta hung back as Dr Kun prepped Jeno. He made him lie down on a bed and hooked him up to an IV. Jeno gritted his teeth as the good doctor strapped his ankles and wrists to the bed. Acutely aware of how vulnerable he was at that moment, his heart tightened with worry. But he knew the only way out now, was through.

“This will be unpleasant, but there are no lasting side effects. If you pass, you should be fine in a few days.”

 _Unpleasant_ was an understatement. Excruciating was more like it. Jeno had been through this before during his training, he’d been taught how to survive it, how to lie despite being pumped full of hallucinogens and pain inducing chemicals. Without extensive practice and repeated specialized training, it was impossible for someone to lie while being in a state of pain and extreme confusion that the chemicals brought about.

“Ready?” Dr Kun asked. Jeno nodded.

Dr Kun used a syringe to inject some bright red liquid into the IV. With dread, Jeno watched the red substance travel through the tube, and as it reached his arm he immediately felt the sharp, molten burn spread. 

Gritting his teeth, he tried his best not to scream.

Jaemin rummaged through the cupboards of the kitchens, the staff bustling around him preparing dinner. He had slept the whole day and had only awoken when the sun had already set.

“Mirai?” Jaemin called, still peering into the cupboard.

“Yes sir?” a voice came from beside him.

“I told you to call me Nana” he said pouting at the small Japanese woman next to him.

“Sir, you know I can’t do that.” She said, smiling sweetly at him.

“Miraaaiii” Jeamin nagged, still pouting cutely “You’ve been here since _before_ I was born, just call me Nana.”

“Sir, you know you are like a precious son to all of us, but you are also our young master and we must treat you so.” She replied. It was true, all of the personnel on the premises knew and loved Jaemin. He had always shown great interest and care for all of the staff who worked for the Madam, he knew everyone’s names, baked for their birthdays. He really was one of their children.

“Alright.” Jaemin huffed, not getting his way.

“Can I help you with anything sir?”

“I’m looking for my French press. I want to make some coffee.”

“Oh! It’s in the back being washed. I’ll get it for you.” And ran off before Jaemin could protest.

A moment later, she returned with a clean press in her hands.

“Thanks, Mirai” he said with a smile and a wink. With a slight bow, she went about her business.

Jaemin quickly finished making his coffee, way too sweet and way too strong – just how he likes it.

Heading for his mother’s office, he sipped on his coffee as he walked, bare feet softly padding along the black marble floors. They had some serious catching up to do, and there was loads he wanted to talk about. The Harley, plans for his exams. _Jeno._

Jaemin reached the large black doors and was just about to knock when he heard his mother’s voice.

“Yes, he’s here.” She seemed to be on the phone.

“I’ll take care of it.”

Pause

“The plan is going ahead.”

Pause.

“Good”

Silence.

Jaemin frowned, _what was that about?_ He assumed the prolonged silence meant his mother had hung up.

Knocking as he pushed open the door, Jaemin stepped inside.

“Hey, mom?” he called.

“Nana! Come in! Baby, how are you?” she called, smiling brightly at him from where she was standing by the large windows, phone in hand.

“Good. How was your day?” he asked her, he made himself comfy on one of the leather couches, his mother joining him.

“Productive. Did you have fun last night?” she asked.

Flashes of everything that had happened, ran across his mind.

“Yeah, it was great.”

“No problems?” she asked. _Did she know something?_

Jaemin shook his head, lowering his eyes as he took a sip of the death drink he liked so much.

“Mom, can I ask you something?” Jaemin asked, carefully setting down his cup. He knew his mother shared as much with him as she could, but he also knew she kept a lot of things from him. Jaemin was also very acutely aware that the freedoms he had, to study, to see his friends, go out and mess around was only made possible because she never tried to control him or shelter him, despite the danger he was often in. He was allowed to live his life, but if his mom really wanted to, his home could become a cage. In the end, she was still in control, and he could only do as much as she _let_ him.

“Mmm?” she enquired.

“Who is Jeno?” she may not answer him, or her answer would be something Jaemin would really not like.

“Oh, have you met him already?”

Jaemin nodded

“He’s here to take care of you” she said simply

“Take care of me?” Jaemin asked slowly, not understanding what that meant.

“I know you don’t want a driver, or a bodyguard or allow me to track your phone, you don’t even want to carry a pocket knife, much less a gun. Just getting you to pick up some martial arts was a struggle.” She smiled fondly at him as they both recalled how much he complained about learning how to fight. “So, having him take care of you, is the best alternative I could think of.” She continued

“So what, he has to follow me around? Mom, you know that’s not necessary.” Jaemin asked, slightly irked. He sincerely hoped that this wasn’t the moment he had been dreading most of his life – the moment where his mother starts telling him what to do. 

“No, that’s not what I asked him to do.”

“Then what is he going to do?” Jaemin asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He knew she wasn’t being too unreasonable, but he really didn’t want a stranger hanging around him 24/7, even if it was _that_ particular stranger.

“I asked him to be your friend.” She explained

“I have enough friends” he said, taken slightly aback.

“Jaemin, listen to me very carefully” She said, not mad but suddenly quite serious. Jaemin slowly uncrossed his arms and sat up straight.

“Your friends don’t know anything about your life, they can’t protect you and they can’t protect themselves either. I know you don’t want a bodyguard or anyone on staff to protect you. The best way for me to take care of you, is to make sure you have someone close to you who _does_ know what our lives are like and has the ability to keep you safe.”

Jaemin relaxed a bit, still not completely satisfied though. She did make sure he grew up knowing how to fight, pick locks, fire a gun, disarm someone – why couldn’t he just continue as he had been?

“I don’t want to keep you inside, or stop you from being a doctor, I know how much that means to you. But if keeping you at home, and robbing you of your freedom means I can keep you alive, I won’t even think twice.” It wasn’t exactly a threat, but simply a fact. “I would rather have you hate me, than see you dead.” She finished.

Jaemin sighed, losing the will to argue. Even if he didn’t like it, he couldn’t deny she had a point. Having Jeno around, was better than a stiff suit breathing down his neck.

“Fine” he sighed. “But what if I don’t like having him around?”

“You don’t have to see him for him to be able to protect you.”

Silence fell between them as Jaemin thought about what it would mean for him to have Jeno near him every day, even if he didn’t see him, he would always be close by.

 _God this is bad_.

“Where is he by the way? I haven’t seen him today.”

“He’s resting” his mother said, looking down at her phone as the screen lit up with a text.

“Resting? It’s like 7pm on a Friday.”

“He had his interview today.” She said without looking up from her phone.

Jaemin’s heart sank.

“What?” He asked, unable to believe what his mom had just said, he knew all too well that in his world an _interview_ was very much the opposite.

Still she didn’t look at him – her apathy in that moment felt like ice being poured over his head.

“Mom” Jaemin said softly, “You promised. You promised you won’t do it anymore”

“It was necessary. Don’t worry, he passed” she said, waving her hand clearly thinking it was not a big deal. It was moments like these where the mom he had in his heart, who had cheered for him like a madwoman at each soccer game, who taught him how to cook, painfully collided with the reality of the cold-blooded mob boss she was.

“ _Mom._ It’s _torture_. How could you put him through that?” Jaemin was suddenly feeling ill. He couldn’t believe what his mom had just done to Jeno. It was horrible, despicable, to hurt anyone like that. The first time he had heard about this particular interrogative method his mother favoured he had cried for days, begging her to never do that to anyone ever again. No one had to go through that, no matter what the reason. His soft, loving, beautiful mom, could so _easily_ cause someone so much distress, and it made Jaemin’s stomach twist painfully.

“I asked, and he agreed. I didn’t force him to go through with it, it was his choice.” She said, still sitting comfortably on the couch, fingers tapping away at her screen as if she hadn’t just casually waved off the idea of _torture_.

“Mom!” Jaemin slightly raised his voice. Could she just _look_ at him?

When she finally did lift her eyes, Jaemin was taken aback, swallowing his next words. Her eyes sharp with anger at his raised voice.

“Jaemin, I did what was necessary, just like I always have done.” Her tone was cool, her gaze hot as her eyes bored into his, forcing him to back down.

“But mom, you broke your promise” Jaemin said, voice low.

Suddenly his mom softened, and reached for his hand from where she was sitting.

“I know Nana, but there really was no other way.” she smiled up at him softly “His room is across from yours, you can go check on him.”

He was shocked, she had just justified and played down what she had done so easily, without even offering an apology. He didn’t know what to say or how to feel, so he just nodded, suddenly numb. Slowly, he stood and left the study, his heart pulled apart by the guilt he felt for how much he despised his beloved mom in that moment.

Some days, he really _really_ wished that his life didn’t involve _torturing_ innocent people simply because there wasn’t any other choice, and he could love his mom for how she treated him, not hate her for how she treated others.

Jeno slowly awakened, his eyes felt like it was filled with sand and his brain wrapped in glass.

 _God, I forgot how much this fucking_ hurts.

Even though he had been in this exact position numerous times in the past, he could never fully get used to it. Slowly his blurry vision cleared and his surroundings came into focus.

_What? Jaemin?_

Near the window of his room, Jaemin sat at a small desk nibbling at his bottom lip, highlighter in hand. Jeno blinked hard, he must still be hallucinating. Keeping his eyes on Jaemin, he breathed deeply and waited, but the vision didn’t fade. 

Jaemin was really in his room.

He hadn’t noticed Jeno awaken yet, so he took the time to look carefully at the boy sitting across from him, his pain suddenly forgotten at the sight of the white-haired angel.

Jaemin seemed to be studying. A thick textbook was open before him, with more books on the ground, a pencil behind his ear - softly muttering to himself as he went over the contents of the book.

For a long while still, Jeno watched Jaemin quietly. His heart softened by how Jaemin tilted his head as he tried to figure something out, and when he ran his hands through his hair in concentration, Jeno’s insides did something weird. For a brief moment, Jeno considered getting close to him to get information and use him for the sake of his mission, but seeing Jaemin so soft and pretty before him, Jeno quickly discarded the idea. He couldn’t do that, he would never be able to use Jaemin or manipulate him, he’ll have to find another way.

_I’m so fucked_.

Knowing he was wandering into dangerous territory, and that he couldn’t afford to be bewitched by Jaemin, Jeno purposefully stirred to attract his attention.

He looked up at the movement, pretty doe-eyes widening “Oh my God! You’re awake!” Jaemin called, jumping up sending pink sticky notes flying. Jaemin came over to Jeno’s bedside and peered at him carefully as Jeno pushed himself up onto his elbows. He groaned as the hurt returned, 10 times worse than the worst hangover he had ever experienced. His muscle protested, body stiff from enduring chemically induced pain and hallucinations for almost half a day.

“How are you feeling?” Jaemin asked, brow furrowed in concern. Jeno was pale and the shadows under his eyes made him look more rugged than usual.

“Like a princess.” He said flatly. Jaemin smiled softly at the lame joke, happy to see that Jeno was feeling well enough to be silly.

“What are you doing here?” Jeno asked, sitting all the way up.

Jaemin swallowed, trying his best to keep his eyes on Jeno’s face as the sheets slipped down his chest revealing his bare torso.

“Uhm..” Jaemin didn’t really know how to explain himself. At the time he thought it was a good idea, but facing Jeno now he somehow felt a bit embarrassed.

“I wanted to check up on you. And I also don’t like studying alone, so…” He answered, gesturing to the desk and books.

Jeno didn’t respond, but just peered at Jaemin. Not knowing what to do with the boy in front of him.

“Jeno…” Jaemin said softly. “I’m sorry.” he looked away from Jeno, ashamed.

“For what?” He asked, eyes softening as he saw Jaemin’s troubled expression.

“For …” unable to find the words, he gestured at Jeno, pale and tired.

“It’s not your fault. I want to stay here, and this was the only way.” Jeno said truthfully. Jaemin still didn’t look at him. Reaching out, Jeno grabbed the strings of Jeamin’s powder pink hoodie and yanked them, making Jaemin stumble in surprise.

“Hey, I’m fine and it’s over now. So no more pouting, okay?” He smiled at Jaemin softly, half-moon eyes pulling at his heart.

Jaemin nodded, pink tinging his cheeks, _what is this boy doing to me?_

“Are you hungry?” Jaemin asked, suddenly feeling bolder.

Jeno nodded.

“Get dressed and meet me in the kitchen” Jaemin said with a bright smile, regaining his courage under the magnetic gaze of the older.

Before Jeno could respond, Jaemin was already gone. Puzzled and somewhat touched, Jeno looked at the closed door.

_I’ve lost it, gone mad,_ he thought. This was the only explanation for the turmoil his thoughts were in, and the funny flip-flops his heart was currently performing.

With a sigh he slowly got out of bed, his body protesting. As Jeno showered, he reminded himself his life was in danger every single minute he was in that house, he had a purpose here – and now that he was officially _in_ and had passed the ‘interview’ he had a lot of work to do.

Harshly chastising his own foolishness, he reminded himself of who he was and how much he has experienced and accomplished as a detective.

But even if he had completed dozens of undercover operations before, he has never met anyone like Na Jaemin.

_(* note: carrd for this fic:[https://adreamwithinadream.carrd.co](https://adreamwithinadream.carrd.co/) )_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much to everyone who has supported this fic so far <3 I love writing this so much, and it makes me really happy to see everyone love it too.  
> xx
> 
> Buckle up, a storm is coming >:)


	11. Blossoming

Humming to himself and waiting for Jeno to join him, Jaemin swiftly chopped some carrots and spring onions before tossing the perfectly julienned pieces in a frying pan. He thought about Jeno and what the future might hold for Jaemin. He knew that Jeno was being paid to take care of him, be his friend, protect him – but Jaemin really _wanted_ to get along with Jeno for real. Not just for his own sake, but his friend’s too, they would be meeting Jeno soon and also see him as much as they saw Jaemin. It would make everyone’s life easier if he put in an effort to be close to Jeno, and make his mom’s arrangement as painless as possible.

 _You just want to jump his bones._ Jaemin quickly shoved that thought to the back of his mind, along with the memory of a sleepy, bare-chested, tousled Jeno.

Jaemin wasn’t stupid, he knew that the chances of him and Jeno being anything more than just friends at best, were slim to none. He didn’t even know if Jeno liked boys, never mind if he could ever like Jaemin. He was happy just being friends, that alone would be nice. Jaemin frowned, suddenly disappointed with the idea of a friendship with Jeno.

That’s how Jeno found him, pink hoodie shining brightly in the stark black and white of the kitchen, frowning slightly, lips pressed together in concentration, surrounded by delicious aromas. Once again Jeno found himself, just _staring_.

Shaking himself, he walked over to the counter where Jaemin was chopping up some onion and garlic.

Jaemin look up as he approached, big doe-eyes soft at the sight of the freshly showered, pink cheeked Jeno.

“Better?” Jaemin asked, eyes lowering to the veggies again.

“Much.” Jeno nodded, leaning his elbows on the counter across from Jaemin.

“What are you making?” Jeno asked, looking at what Jaemin was doing. His pretty, slender hands worked confidently with the ingredients and utensils, he obviously knew what he was doing.

“Japchae” he answered, scraping the newly chopped onion and garlic into a pan already heated and sizzling on the stove.

“What if I told you I don’t like japchae?” Jeno asked, curious. In reality, he loved japchae but he was wondering how amicable Jaemin could be.

Without looking at him or even hesitating, Jaemin just pointed to the cupboard at the far end of the kitchen.

“The instant ramyun is over there.”

Jeno laughed. Jaemin may be soft and pretty but he was no pushover and definitely knew how to bite.

Jaemin turned at his laugh “What?” he asked, blinking in confusion. Jeno just smiled and shook his head.

“Where is everyone?” Jeno asked, even though it was already evening, it was still too early for the mansion to be so quiet.

“It’s Sunday, so everyone’s off” Jaemin answered, adding glass noodles to a pot of boiling water.

“Sunday?” Jeno asked, a bit shocked. He had been out for two days?

Jaemin turned, of course Jeno wouldn’t know how long he had been unconscious. Laying still and deathly pale in his bed as Jaemin studied silently by his side – he hadn’t wanted Jeno to be alone. He had also been wracked by guilt, and staying close to Jeno and taking care of him in some small way eased his heart somewhat.

“Jeno, I’m-“ Jaemin began, tone serious.

“How did you learn how to cook?” Jeno interrupted, not liking the frown that was suddenly on Jaemin’s brow.

Jaemin paused, grateful that Jeno changed the subject, and didn’t seem to be upset or affected that much by the pain he experienced just two days previously.

“My mom taught me.” Jaemin said after a moment, stirring the food in the pan with a deft hand.

“Speaking of, what are we doing on tomorrow?”

“We?” Jaemin asked

“Yeah.” Jeno confirmed simply. Jeno vaguely remembered Maria speaking to him about Jaemin just before he was taken back to his room, even though he was still half delirious he caught the gist of what she was asking of him.

“Uhm.. library? Exams are two weeks away so..” he was suddenly a bit shy, talking to Jeno about normal things seemed so _domestic_.

“Cool, I’ll take you.” Jeno said casually, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Jaemin quickly finished cooking, he liked having Jeno for company – he usually cooked alone, or with Mirai so having Jeno there made him feel warm and comfortable. Jeamin dished up for them and pushed a plate over.

“No ramyun?” Jaemin joked.

“Not when this looks so good.” Jeno said, a fork already half way to his mouth.

“Holy shit Jaem this is good. Damn” He said, mouth full.

Jaemin started at the sudden nickname, heart stuttering.

“I’m glad” Jaemin said with a small smile, digging into his own food.

They continued to eat, chatting here and there about small things – Jaemin had quickly realised that it there were some parts of Jeno that were closed off, so he kept the conversation light. Jeno asked about Jaemin’s studies and his friends – Jaemin asked about Jeno’s life in France and his love for motorcycles.

“Wait, the Harley in the garage is yours?”

Jeno nodded

“Did you take my Kawasaki the other night?” Jaemin asked, eyes narrowed, waving his fork at Jeno in joking accusation.

“What if I did?” Jeno smiled, biting his tongue between his teeth. “It’s pretty.”

Jaemin felt a blush creeping up his cheeks, the way Jeno was looking at him when he called the motorcycle pretty made him feel like he was _not_ talking about the bike _at all._

Jaemin cleared his throat, suddenly feeling hot.

“Do you… wanna play some games?” Jaemin asked. Never in his entire life has anyone made him feel so blushy and shy. Jeno’s magnetic presence and warm eyes did all sorts of things to his system.

“Sure” Jeno agreed.

After cleaning up, they headed toward the east wing, Jeamin in the lead. Jeno frowned as they entered the hall where his own room was.

Opening the door to the right, Jeamin entered and Jeno followed. He blinked as he realised the pretty, warm room he had seen on his first day there was Jaemin’s bedroom – he should have guessed.

But bedroom was an understatement – it was huge, with a lounge, large TV, mini-fridge, and a gigantic bed covered in soft pinks, yellows and whites. 

Jaemin was nervous about letting Jeno into his bedroom – it was his safe space. Where he found the most comfort and warmth. Only his friends and mom have ever been inside, not even Doyoung and Yuta had been allowed in. But Jaemin felt comfortable and safe with Jeno, so he thought _why not._

A few moments later they were laughing and joking loudly, enjoying each other’s company. Jeno looked over at Jaemin, sitting on the floor, legs folded under him as his fingers furiously worked the remote in hand. He couldn’t help but smile as Jaemin bit his bottom lip in concentration.

Just a week ago, Jeno was still in Lyon planning a deadly mission with his team. Now here he sat on a fluffy white beanbag, chocolate milk in hand, playing Mario Kart with the son of the person he was supposed to be taking down.

Jeno knocked softly on Jaemin’s door, checking if he was awake.

“Coming!” His voice called.

It was already 7:30am and Jaemin had mentioned the previous evening he wanted to be in the library by 8. While waiting in the hall for Jaemin to come out, he thought about the day ahead. At this point in the mission, his options were limited. He purposefully didn’t have any other devices with him, and he couldn’t snoop around the house just yet. In a couple of weeks, he’ll see if he could get his hands on a computer, get into the network of the mansion. He wouldn’t be able to check out Na-Medical Corp if he had to be with Jaemin every day, he would have to wait for Mark and Ten to join him in 3 months.

For now, all he had to do was solidify his position as Jeamin’s caretaker and friend, and Jeno was determined to do a really good job. Maria, Yuta and Doyoung (whom Jeno has not yet met) would definitely trust him more if he actually did what he was supposed to: protect Jaemin to the best of his ability.

So for the next three months, Jaemin would be his priority.

Jaemin stepped out of his room, and Jeno forgot to breathe. His hair was styled perfectly, small silver hoops in his ears, his long legs were wrapped in ripped jeans and his _shirt_. Jeno was kind of tempted to ask Jaemin to go change, just for his own peace of mind. Jaemin was wearing a loose-fitting blue collared shirt, with lace sleeves and a lace back, offering glimpses of endless, perfect pale skin.

“What?” Jaemin asked, seeing the look on Jeno’s face.

“Nothing, let’s go”

Jaemin was supposed to be studying, why was he dressed like _that._ Jeno didn’t mind _at all_ but the Jaemin before him looked very different than the Jaemin who favoured oversized hoodies and bare feet.

Silently they made their way to the garage, but as Jeno made to take the keys of his Harley. Jaemin stopped him.

“I’m driving.” He said firmly, grabbing the keys to his Kawasaki.

“I would rather” Jeno countered.

“I don’t like your Harley.”

“And I can’t let you drive”

“Let’s just each take our own bike” Jaemin suggested.

“Can’t do that either.”

Pause

“I’ll cook dinner every day for a week”

“Two weeks”

“Deal”

Jaemin smiled as he handed a leather jacket and helmet over to Jeno, but his smile faltered slightly as he realised what he had just signed up for. Jeno behind him, close to him.

Steeling himself, Jeamin zipped up his leather jacket and handed his backpack to Jeno who had done the same. He pulled on his helmet and tapped the side to switch on the comms, Jeno followed suit.

“Can you hear me?” Jeno’s deep voice rumbled inside Jaemin’s helmet.

“Yeah, you?”

Jeno nodded, putting Jaemin’s backpack on his back.

Jeamin neared the massive speedbike and threw his leg over, he kicked up the stand and Jeno joined him.

For just a second, Jaemin felt like his brain was melting as Jeno wrapped his arms around Jeamin’s waist, pressing his chest into his back. Although they were the same height, Jeno was more muscular, with a broader build – so having Jeno at his back, made him feel all sorts of ways – wrapped in warmth and the smell of sandalwood and leather.

They sped out of the compound, into the streets of Seoul.

Jaemin knew he was a good driver, but being wrapped in his arms, his thighs on either side of Jaemins’ hips was incredibly distracting.

“Uh… Jaem?” Came Jeno’s voice. “You’re going a little fast.”

“Sorry” Jaemin mumbled slowing down a little as he weaved through traffic.

“Next time, I’m driving.” Jeno said, a smile in his voice. Jaemin scoffed, “As if.”

Soon they reached the university, Jaemin parking outside a massive white building with pillars flanking its entrance. Jeno pulled off his helmet, surprised to suddenly find a number of people approaching them. Suddenly alerted, Jeno stepped in front of Jaemin, his back to the approaching crowd.

“We have to go.” He whispered in warning

“Relax, Jen. They’re just friends” Jaemin said with a smile, before stepping around him and greeting the people who had come to say hi.

_Jen?_ His heart softened.

“Hi Jaemin!”

“Hey Nana!”

“Did you come to study?”

“How was your weekend?”

A clamour of voices washed over Jeno as the people competed for Jeamin’s attention.

“Hey guys! What’s up?” Jaemin greeted everyone.

Jeno turned to find at least a dozen people surrounding Jaemin, smiling brightly at him, talking and asking questions. Jaemin doled out hugs and handshakes, greeting each person by name. He smiled a little at the scene, he should have known that Jaemin was popular on campus. If he himself, a trained professional, found Jaemin irresistible then what hope did these poor souls have. Everyone wanted to be his friend, be him or date him. Luckily Jaemin was still wearing his leather jacket, if all these people had seen him in _that_ shirt, Jeno would _not_ be as calm as he was now.

Hanging back, Jeno waited for everyone to leave and say their goodbyes – but that didn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. Then he noticed Jaemin getting a little restless, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He checked his watch, it was already 8:15am, Jaemin had wanted to be _in_ the library by 8 to make sure they get good seats.

Deciding to intervene, Jeno stepped forward and flung an arm around Jaemin’s shoulders, surprising everyone.

“Sorry babe, we have to go.” He said, planting a soft kiss on Jaemin’s head.

“Bye everyone!” Jaemin called as Jeno all but dragged him away, leaving a very stunned group behind. Everyone immediately started whispering frantically, some whipping out their phones to update their social media with the shocking news: Na Jaemin had a boyfriend.

Once they were far enough away, Jeno lowered his arm again, but he still stayed close to Jaemin’s side.

“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable Jeam” Jeno said gently “It just looked like you really wanted to get out of there.”

“Thanks for that. And I’m not uncomfortable at all… it was kinda nice.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jaemin felt his cheeks light up. _Why the fuck would you say that you absolute dingbat?!_ He wanted the earth to swallow him for being so blatantly flirtatious. Seeing his cheeks turn pink, Jeno couldn’t help but smile.

Just as they were about to enter the library, Jaemin’s phone rang.

“Sorry, one sec.” he said as he pulled it out and checked the ID. _Duckie_

“ _NA JAEMIN!!”_ the person yelled so loud that Jaemin pulled the phone away from his ear.

“Hey Hyuckie”

“ _YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?”_ they yelled again, their voice so loud it was like they were on speaker

“What? What are you talking about?”

_“IT’S ALL OVER THE SCHOOL FORUM! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE SEEING SOMEONE?? WHO IS THIS SEXY SCARY BIKER DUDE?!”_

“Jeno is _not_ scary” Jaemin chastised

_“JENO?? SO IT’S TRUE!! HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME, YOUR BEST FRIEND, ABOUT YOUR VERY FIRST BOYFRIEND??”_

“Stop being dramatic Hyuck. I’ll explain everything later okay?”

“ _NA JAEMIN! DON’T YOU DARE HANG U-“_

Click

Jaemin didn’t want to meet Jeno’s eye. God he was so embarrassed, first he ran his stupid mouth and now Hyuck was screaming about Jeno being his first boyfriend. For some reason he felt a little self-conscious for Jeno to know he had never dated before.

“If I’m not scary, am I sexy then?” Jeno teased, easing Jaemin’s shyness.

“Shut up.” Jeamin replied with a smile, lightly shoving Jeno’s shoulder. Both smiling like idiots, they headed into the library.

For the next two weeks, Jeno and Jaemin spent their days in the library. Jaemin studying and Jeno comfortably reading his way through the library’s murder-mystery section. They would take breaks to go for walks around campus, visit a nearby coffee shop, have lunch together.

Jeno would tease Jaemin about his horrid coffee and candy consumption, Jaemin would tease him about the way he drank tea like an old man and his love for anime. And every evening Jaemin would cook the most delicious food Jeno ever had in his life, ending with some games or a movie in Jaemin’s room. It was odd to them both how quickly they had fallen into a comfortable rhythm, as if they had known each other all their lives. They picked up on each other’s habits and quirks, preferences and dislikes, a familiar warmth settling between the two.

“Jaem, come on let’s go.” Jeno said, knocking on Jaemin’s door. It was the morning of his first exam.

Moments later, Jaemin opened the door and once again almost made Jeno drop to the floor. Fitted white slacks with an _almost_ sheer black t-shirt.

“Will it kill you to wear a hoodie?” Jeno mumbled gruffly

“What?” Jaemin asked, not hearing what Jeno had said.

“Nothing, let’s go”

Jaemin frowned at the familiar exchange. He was starting to think Jeno didn't like his clothes, he tended to be a bit odd in the mornings.

Jeno drove them to campus on his Harley, Jaemin warm against his back, arms comfortably resting in his hips. Jeno walked with Jaemin to the venue, before waving him in with a good luck.

Hanging around outside the venue, Jeno lit a cigarette and carefully looked around as he pulled on the death stick, blowing out grey smoke. He didn’t see anyone or anything suspicious, but he remained vigilant. All throughout the last two weeks they had been together on campus, Jeno thought he saw someone watching Jaemin. A couple of someone’s actually. But those creeping eyes came and went so quickly, he wasn’t sure if it was a threat or just a jilted admirer, upset that everyone on campus thought Jaemin and Jeno were together.

Still looking around carefully, Jeno mentally took stock of everything he had learned the past weeks. He had confirmed that except for some heated phone calls, Maria didn’t conduct any of her business from her home. No one suspicious had visited, or met with her in her home office either. Jeno had finally met Doyoung, and another important person named Taeyong, but he wasn’t sure how he fit into the picture, they didn’t have any intel on him. Jeno had also learned that there weren’t actually any cameras or wires inside the house – the compound was so secure that there wasn’t any real need for security inside.

Jeno was about as sure as he could be that nothing sinister was happening at the house, that left Na-Medical Corp or a third location he wasn’t aware of. He would need to work on a way to get to the office, or wait until Mark and Ten arrived. Now at least, Maria and Yuta seemed comfortable with him around, so maybe he could somehow orchestrate a visit to the company.

He stepped on the last bit of his cigarette butt as he looked around once more, the morning air growing bright and warm around him.

“There’s _no way_ Tom Holland is a better Spiderman!” Jaemin argued, stirring his iced coffee.

“Tom Holland is the best Spiderman! He fits the comic book character perfectly” Jeno countered

“Disagree – Garfield is a _much_ better actor”

“Are you serious? He was _way_ too mature for the role of a 17-year-old nerd.”

“Agree to disagree.” Jaemin said smiling, sipping his coffee.

“Can we at least agree that Toby McGuire was horrendous?”

“Oh yeah definitely.”

Jaemin had breezed through his first exam, and Jeno had taken him out for coffee and donuts after. Whenever they went out, or even stayed in the library, the would always sit side by side, never across from the other. It just seemed so perfectly natural to them. Comfortably next to one another, they were laughing and talking about random things.

“When’s your next test?”

“Mmm… pharmacology, next Wednesday” Jaemin answered, mouth full of donut. “Ugh, I’m really tired of studying. I just want to see my friends” he pouted.

“Why don’t you guys study together? You’re in the same department.”

“I’m not sure if you have _heard_ the volume at which they operate. I love them, but studying in the same room as them is _impossible_.”

“Well, we-“ Jeno didn’t finish his sentence as he caught a glimpse of something through the window, his heart suddenly stopped.

“JAEMIN GET DOWN!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this last bit off fluff before things get real angsty and spicy >:)
> 
> tysm to everyone who has shown this fic so much love!  
> xxx
> 
> Feedback & kudos always much appreciated


	12. Salted Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Blood, death, shooting, vomit, fighting

Jaemin felt himself fly. He was thrown out of the booth. Chaos erupted all around them, people screamed, glass shattered. The café was ripped apart by a deafening torrent of bullets.

Jeno threw himself down after Jaemin, covering the younger with his body. The ear-splitting sound of semi-automatic weapons crashed over them. Glass shattered, blood sprayed, bodies hit the ground. Jeno felt glass painfully rip at his back and neck. Debris and dust filled the air.

Suddenly the deafening sound stopped. A moment of silence and shock settled over the decimated shop. Then chaos erupted again, screams piercing the air. Cries of pain and fear, shock and outrage.

Years of training kicking in, Jeno gathered Jaemin in his arms and dragged them under a table. The shooters may come back and he had to protect him.

Jeno tightened his grip on Jaemin, not wanting him to see the devastation.

The blood. The bodies.

Jeno quickly counted with his eyes, at least 7 people were down.

All he had seen was a black van driving by outside, the door opened rifles appearing. That was enough for him to get Jaemin out of the way.

“Jeno, let me go.” came Jaemin’s muffled voice. “I have to help them” he tried to push himself off of Jeno.

“No, I can’t let you.”

“Jeno, please.” Jaemin pleaded. “ _Let me go!”_ he started to struggle harder, batting at Jeno’s chest.

“Sorry Jaem, I can’t”

“I can help. _I have to help”_ his struggles increased as he desperately tried to get out of Jeno’s hold.

 _“Let me go! Jeno!”_ Jaemin dug his nails into the arms around him, trying to force his way out. Jeno didn’t budge.

“I can’t” Jeno said, voice tight at how much distress he was causing Jaemin in that moment.

“I have to help them. Please Jeno, p-please. P-please” Jaemin began to sob as he struggled, his tears soaking Jeno’s shirt.

Jeno held him closer, stroking his hair trying to calm him. Jaemin’s struggles weakened as he cried softly at the voices of the injured and dying that surrounded them. That’s how they sat, underneath a table, Jaemin crying softly into Jeno’s chest as he kept him away from the bodies, the debris and the pain.

It wasn’t long until emergency responders and police swarmed the place. Sirens yowling all around them. Jaemin had stilled, but Jeno could still hear him cry softly. Jeno dug his phone out of his pocket, and frantically texted Yuta. Luckily the phone still worked even though the screen was now smashed. The two of them huddling together under the table went unnoticed as paramedics feverishly tried to treat all of the wounded, throwing white sheets over those already gone. Debris and dust thickened the air as groans and screams washed over them. Jeno desperately hoped that Yuta would come soon, they needed to get out of there before the police get hold of them. He couldn’t afford any contact with the local law enforcement, and Jaemin would have his face all over the media if they found out he was here. Just as he considered how best to sneak Jaemin out without anyone noticing, Jeno spotted a pair of black slacks and expensive Italian leather boots running toward him.

“Jeno?” it was Yuta. He crouched down to where they were hiding, brow creased.

“I already talked to the officer in charge of the scene, he’ll let us go. But we need to move quickly.” His voice was tight with urgency.

Jeno nodded, and gathered a very still Jaemin in his arms. Yuta grabbed Jeno’s now shredded jacket off the seat and shook out the glass. He gently laid it over Jaemin’s head, to hide him from prying eyes and to prevent him from seeing the carnage around them.

As Yuta drove them home, Jeno was in the backseat with Jaemin still close to his chest. He carefully held him in his arms and continued to stroke his hair – it seemed that Jaemin had cried himself unconscious. The shock of what had just happened too much.

Once inside the mansion, Yuta rushed off to report to Maria and Jeno headed to Jaemin’s room, he’ll text Dr Qian to come check on him later.

Jaemin gasped as he bolted upright. What happened? Why does he feel like he got hit by a truck? He shook his head in confusion trying to clear his thoughts. Then it came to him in waves.

He was thrown to the ground. The shooting. The screams. The smell of blood and dust clogging his throat. His gut rolled. He ran to the bathroom, just in time to empty his stomach in the sink. Memories of what he had heard washed over him like a storm of acid. The nausea and pain not leaving his body, Jaemin coughed and heaved. As if his body was trying to expel the trauma. Shaking, his stomach painfully stiff, the dry heaving finally stopped. Weak, Jaemin splashed water on his face, refusing to look at himself in the mirror. Feeling numb and empty, unsteady, one thought suddenly echoed in his mind.

 _Jeno_.

Sprinting to the door, he plucked it open and rushed into Jeno’s room. The room was empty. Concern for Jeno made Jaemin’s heart race.

_What if is Jeno got hurt? What if..?_ he couldn’t even think it.

Just as he was about to leave and look for him elsewhere, he heard a clatter and cussing from the bathroom. Jaemin dashed forward and yanked open the bathroom door, not bothering to knock. He needed to know if Jeno was okay.

“Jaemin?” Jeno said in surprise. Without thinking Jaemin launched himself into Jeno’s arms, hugging him tightly. Relief seeing Jeno alive like a balm to his heart.

“Jaem? What’s wrong?” Jeno asked, hugging him back.

“Are you okay?” Jaemin asked instead, stepping back to examine his face.

“I should be asking you that.”

“I..I’m not sure. I think – OH MY GOD JENO YOU’RE BLEEDING”

As Jaemin was talking, he caught sight of Jeno’s back reflected in the mirror. His shirt was full of holes and rips, blood staining the black material blacker. 

“You have to go to the medical centre. Right now.” Jaemin grabbed Jeno’s wrist and tried to drag him out of the bathroom, but Jeno dug in his heels.

“I’d rather not see Dr Kun again.”

Jaemin hesitated, understanding.

“I just need to get the glass out.” Jeno continued, “You can do it”

“Me?” Jaemin stuttered

“Of course, _Doctor_ Na.” Jeno teased a small smile from Jaemin. The earth seemed to tilt beneath Jaemin’s feet. Jeno was hurt, again. Because of him. Again. Yet here he was smiling with his crescent eyes, comforting _him_.

Jaemin nodded slowly.

From the first aid kit Jeno had been digging through when he had come in, Jaemin pulled out some tweezers, gauze and disinfectant. He hopped up on the marble top next to the sink, Jeno pulled off his now destroyed and stained shirt, and stood himself between Jaemin’s legs with his back turned. Jaemin’s heart stuttered and his body burned at the sight of Jeno bare-chested.

 _You are out of your goddamn mind_.

Given what had happened today, how Jeno was hurt, could he just _not_ thirst after him. Frustrated at himself and how his body reacted to Jeno, Jaemin shifted uncomfortably where he sat, trying to calm himself and focus on the task at hand.

Jeno was right, it wasn’t that bad. The glass had nicked his skin and got stuck in some places too – but it was all superficial. As he worked, carefully cleaning every little cut and removing splinters and shards of glass, Jeno rested his hands on Jaemin’s ankles. The air between them suddenly thickened as Jaemin desperately tried to focus while Jeno softly thumbed the top of his feet.

“Jeno?”

“Hmmm?”

“I can’t concentrate if you do that”

“Sorry.” he said and dropped his hands, Jaemin instantly mourning the loss of his warm touch.

Wiping the last of the blood of Jeno’s muscular back, Jaemin noticed a small tattoo at the base of his neck. _127V_

“What does this mean?” Jaemin asked

“Uhm… my friends and I got matching tattoos.”

“Your friends in France?”

“Yeah”

“Do you miss them?”

Jeno thought about his unit, his family, his best friends. All of the time they had spent together, the good and the bad. Everything they shared.

“Everyday.”

“But you guys still talk often though, right?”

“No, I haven’t talked to any of them since moving back to Korea.”

“How come?” Jaemin was a bit shocked – he couldn’t imagine not talking to his friends for three weeks. They talked every day even if they wouldn’t see each other until the exams were over.

“It’s… complicated.” Which was the truth. It was complicated. But it wasn’t supposed to be. Jeno’s mission objective was straightforward. He had the skills and the motivation to do it. But Jaemin had complicated everything. Being fully aware of how Jaemin had somehow started making his way into Jeno’s heart and thoughts, he felt a pang of guilt. He was letting his team and his agency down. But even knowing that, he didn’t think it was possible to expel Jaemin from his system. He was too far gone. But he knew he would never, and could never act on his feelings. That would be disastrous for everyone involved, Jaemin most of all.

Not pressing him further, Jaemin asked the thing that has been burning in his mind since he entered the bathroom.

“Jen?”

Suddenly serious, Jeno turned around to peer at Jaemin. His soft doe-eyes seemed troubled, a frown creasing his brow.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you stop me?” Jaemin’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper, “I could have helped those people.”

“Jaem” Jeno said slowly, leaning forward he rested his hands on Jaemin’s knees. “There wasn’t anything you could do.” Jeno recalled the people who had been shot, ripped apart, punched full of holes.

“I could have tried.” Jaemin looked up, meeting Jeno’s eyes as tears swam in his own, “Why didn’t you let me?”

“Jaem, I couldn’t let you see that. I couldn’t let you see those people and then not be able to save them.”

Jaemin opened his mouth to argue as his tears spilled over, running down his cheeks, but Jeno interrupted.

“I know what’s it like to live with the memories of death, those demons never leave you. I could never let you go through that.” Jeno had been sincere in his actions. Huddled under a table in a shot-up café, he wasn’t detective Lee, but he was just a man who had seen a lot of bad shit in his life. Memories of explosions, death, blood, flittered across his mind. Mark burned, Taeil in a coma, Johnny’s blood pooling on a dirty floor. Things that kept him up at night. Made him scream in his sleep. He could never subject Jaemin to such horrors.

“It’s all my fault Jen” Jaemin whispered, breaking. Tears falling freely.

“No, this is not on you Jaem” Jeno cupped Jaemin’s face and wiped his tears with his thumbs. “The only people to blame were the ones who pulled the triggers.”

But Jaemin still cried, still felt guilty, responsible. If he hadn’t been there, then those people who had been with them in the café would still be alive. Jeno looked at Jaemin as he cried, tears spilling onto Jeno’s hands. And he was devastated. Beautiful, shining, smart Jaemin who looked so crushed, and lost. Someone like him didn’t deserve this life.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Jeno said softly and took Jaemin’s hands, leading him to his own room.

For hours, Jeno sat quietly as he listened to Jaemin’s breathing even out. Jaemin didn’t want to be alone. Understanding what Jaemin felt, the grief, shock and horror of that day was something that Jeno was familiar with. So he had stayed with him late into the evening. Just as Jeno was contemplating whether he should leave, or stay until Jaemin woke up, his phone buzzed. It was Yuta asking him to meet him in the fleet garage. Jeno pocketed his phone and with a quick backward glance at a sleeping Jaemin, left.

When Jeno reached the garage, Yuta was already in one of the signature black SUVs, waiting for him. He hopped in and Yuta sped off without a word.

“Where are we going?” Jeno asked, hoping that this wasn’t that scene where they tie rocks to his ankles and toss him into the Han river for being a cop.

“To pay the motherfucker behind today’s drive-by a visit” he said, hands tightening on the wheel, visibly upset. Jeno prayed he would never be on the receiving end of his wrath. In that moment, Yuta was very much _not_ an executive, but rather a leader of the most powerful gang in all of Asia.

“You know who it is?”

“Yeah – we’ve been keeping an eye on him for a while. Ever since Jaemin was kidnapped. But I never expected he’d do something so _stupid_ ” Yuta spat, fury creasing his brow.

_Jaemin was kidnapped?_ Jeno’s heart twisted.

“Are you packing?”

“Pff, no” Yuta scoffed as if the idea of bringing a gun on their little joyride was completely ridiculous.

The city was still bustling, even though it was nearing midnight. But that didn’t stop Yuta from driving like he was possessed, speeding down the freeway. Dodging cars like it was Grand Theft Auto, it didn’t take them long to reach Gangnam. Yuta pulled up in front of a large, modern home with grey walls and large windows. Two security guards manned the gate.

“I’ll take the left” Yuta said and was out of the car before Jeno could say anything. Jeno followed suit. Yuta casually talked to the security guard, almost as if he was just asking for directions.

Suddenly, nearly too quick to follow, Yuta flung the guard over his shoulder. His back smacked into the ground. Lights out.

Alerted, the other guard lunged at Jeno, swinging wildly. Jeno dodged easily. With a quick punch to the throat, the second guard was also rendered unconscious.

Leaving the car outside, the two hopped over the gate and strode inside. They came across four more security guards, which they swiftly took out. Jeno grudgingly admired Yuta. He was definitely _not_ just a handsome face in a suit. Strolling through the dark house, another guard came at them. Jeno stepped back. Roundhouse kick to the jaw. The guard was flung into a wall by the force. Man down.

Jeno followed Yuta through the house, he obviously knew where he was going. Up the stairs, right turn, into an office. A man in his late forties was sitting at a desk, and suddenly jumped up when Yuta flung open the door. The man seemed to immediately recognised Yuta as all of the blood drained from his face.

“Director Park. _So_ nice to see you again” Yuta mocked.

The man held up his hands as if to ward Yuta off, “M-Mr. N-N-Nakamoto, I-I can e-explain” he stuttered, fearful.

Jeno looked at the shivering man who seemed to be about to wet himself. He sneered at the mess. He hated people like that. Who were brave behind closed doors, but the moment they were faced with the consequences of their actions they were such utter cowards.

Yuta nodded at Jeno. Right. He marched over and grabbed the man by the scruff of his neck. The man squealed like a rubber chicken. Jeno flung the man down on the floor at Yuta’s feet, playing his part.

“M-Mr. N-N-Nakamoto, I-“

“Shut it.” Yuta snapped. The man promptly closed his mouth

“Today, you tried to kill Ms Na’s son. Again”

Silence. He wasn’t even going to try to deny it. Under Yuta’s angry stare, he dared not lie.

“She-she took my company! A-a-and my daughter- ” unable to finish his sentence, he began to wail.

“Do you know _why_ she kicked you out of your own company?” Yuta asked through gritted teeth. His anger spiking at the man’s waterworks. He knelt down to meet the man’s eye, grabbing a handful of hair. He yanked his head back. Forcing the snotty mess to look at him.

The man tried to shake his head, but Yuta’s grip on his hair didn’t allow for any movement.

“No? Let me remind you. You tried to embezzle $103 million from Na-Medical Corp. But you were caught. Then your dumbass thought it would be a good idea to first kidnap her son, then to shoot up the place he was in. Remember now?” Yuta yanked hard at the man’s hair, pulling his head back uncomfortably. The man gasped and gargled, unable to reply.

_He did what?_ It took all of Jeno’s willpower to not strangle the man in front of him, break his ribs, crush his knees. He was the once who had hurt Jaemin. And Jeno desperately wanted him to pay.

Yuta tsked in disgust and shoved the man away. Jeno found some small satisfaction in how Yuta manhandled the sack of shit.

“You have 2 hours to leave. You will hand over all company assets. If you ever set foot in Korea again, you can expect a bullet to the head.” Yuta replied coolly, and left. Jeno followed him out, noting everything he had seen carefully – it could be incredibly important for their case.

Once they stepped outside of the mansion, Yuta slowed to a halt and sighed deeply. He pulled out a packet of cigarettes and offered one to Jeno. The two men stood silently outside in the driveway, two unconscious guards laying on the ground behind them. Like it was just another normal Monday.

“What just happened?” Jeno asked after a moment.

“You did good. I thought Maria was exaggerating when she told me about you” Yuta said, not answering the question. He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking up at the night sky, cigarette between his lips.

“Who was that guy?” Jeno asked, trying again to get something out of Yuta.

“Park Jin Young. CEO of JYP Pharmaceuticals. He was a supplier for Na-Medical Corp, but he thought he could skim a bit off the top.” Yuta explained.

“And he got caught?”

“Hm. Doyoung has been on to him for more than a year. We were watching him to see what he was planning. Turns out he was just greedy.” Yuta explained, dragging deeply on his cigarette. The ember lit up his handsome features. “Maria bought some stocks, became a majority shareholder of his company and excommunicated him”. This was huge, he needed to find a way to get this info to WinWin as soon as he can.

“So he kidnapped Jaemin?” Jeno clenched his fists at the thought, “That seems extraordinarily dumb.”

Yuta barked a laugh in agreement.

“God he really is stupid. When he realised we were on to him, he took Jaemin in desperation. He didn’t even have him for 3 hours.”

Silence fell as Jeno processed what Yuta had said. Anger bubbled in his heart.

“He said something about his daughter? Did you kill her?”

“As if” Yuta scoffed, “Tossing people in rivers and starting gang wars is way beneath our paygrade. The girl hated her dad and her life – Maria just gave her some money and got her out of the country. She’s living somewhere in Italy with a boyfriend now. If he thought we killed her that’s his problem, and our advantage.”

 _Interesting_. Jeno wondered if that was true – he had to admit, revenge killing teenage girls didn’t seem like Maria’s style. Another bit of information for WinWin to follow up on.

“Let’s go” Yuta said, stepping on his cigarette bud. Jeno followed.

The car ride home was quiet, but not awkward. Jeno considered asking Yuta some more questions, but he didn’t want to seem too eager and attract suspicion. He was satisfied with how much Yuta had already shared, clearly he trusted Jeno at least to some degree. He had to capitalise on that as much as he could. Maybe Yuta can trust him more in the future and he could hear and see what _really_ went on.

Back at the mansion, Jeno headed to his room – the massive place dark and eerie as his footsteps echoed off the walls. Opening his door, hesitating. Looking over his shoulder at Jaemin’s door – he sighed, sadness settling over his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for showing this fic so much love <3 
> 
> Get ready, things are gonna go wild real soon >:) Thanks for all of the comments! I love talking to you guys <3
> 
> Feedback & kudos much appreciated
> 
> xx  
> Saya


	13. Nothing on me but you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning; nightmares, PTSD
> 
> The title of this Chap was inspired by Kai's Nothing on me - some of the English lyrics are also in the chapter >:)

The rest of Jaemin’s exam was a nightmare. Utter hell. He tried returning to his old routine of studying in the library with Jeno, but it was impossible. Every time someone coughed, pulled back a chair, dropped a book, he started – anxiety clogging his system like oil slick.

After seeing Jaemin on edge, frightened, for two days in a row, Jeno gave Yuta a call and they quickly set up a study for Jaemin in one of the spare rooms of the mansion. It was decorated in the same warm, pastels as Jaemin’s bedroom and was fully stocked with all the books and study materials he could need or want. He was quickly able to relax, and study properly, a huge relief for both Jeno and Yuta.

But as soon as night fell, Jaemin’s anxiety would skyrocket. Almost every night, Jeno would be woken by whimpers that resonated through his rooms. Jaemin was plagued with nightmares, his terror so acute Jeno could almost smell the fear. So every night, Jeno would rush to Jaemin’s room to comfort him, hold him, squeeze his hand, stroke his hair – until he settled. Some nights were worse than others. Where Jaemin could scream, clawing at his sheets as his dreams tormented him. Where Jeno had to shake him awake to stop his cries. Jaemin would cling to him, cry into his chest until he fell into shallow sleep again.

He became quieter, seemingly losing some of his light, he struggled to eat, shadows dogged his eyes as he tried to reach the end of the exam. Jeno caught him reading articles about the incident on numerous occasions, looking up the names of the people who had died, reading up on their families. Of course no one outside of the house knew that he had been there.

The afternoon of Jaemin’s last exam arrived and Jeno was nervous. He knew that studying gave Jaemin something to stay focused on, keep him grounded. He hoped that after the exam, he would be alright. He had also spoken to Maria on the phone almost every day. She was on a business trip in Hong Kong and Jaemin was dodging her calls.

“Jaem, it’s time to go” Jeno said, knocking on Jaemin’s bedroom door as was their routine. Jaemin stepped out, dressed comfortably in a light-yellow hoodie and jeans. “Ready?” Jeno asked and Jaemin nodded. Jeno noticed he had a duffel bag with him and raised an eyebrow in question.

“We’re going out after, to celebrate” He explained, face blank.

“You’re… sure that’s a good idea?” Jeno asked, concerned. Jaemin frowned at him, suddenly feeling oddly annoyed.

“You can come or you can stay, I don’t care. But I’m going.” He huffed, before promptly striding down the hallway leaving a puzzled Jeno behind.

For the first time that month, they didn’t take one of the bikes.

“The Jeep?” Jeno asked

Without a word, Jaemin hopped into the large black and silver Wrangler. Jeno sighed and followed. He wondered what had gotten into him that morning. They drove in silence, the quite uncomfortable as each was lost in their own thoughts. For the first time since they had met, neither was as comfortable and at home with the other as they had been.

Jaemin just really needed to forget. His exam had held him together, he felt like he was hanging at the edge of a cliff, his studies helping him to hold on. But today that would be over, there would be nothing to distract him or keep him occupied. So tonight, he planned on dancing and drinking himself into oblivion. Just for one night he wanted to drown out the screams in his head.

Jeno’s nagging worry for Jaemin was momentarily silenced as he thought about his case. He had gathered a lot of information, but he hadn’t found a way to get it to WinWin yet. The drive-by, the incident with the ex-exec from JYP and his daughter. Jeno had also found the name of the cop who Yuta had obviously bribed that day at the café to let them go. In less that 2 months, Ten and Mark would join him and he needed to make some proper headway by then. He looked over at Jaemin, who was frowning and nibbling at this bottom lip as he drove.

_I’m in trouble._

As always, Jeno waited outside as Jaemin was writing his test. After almost 2 hours on the lookout night had fallen, and students started to file out as the test concluded. Jeno greeted those he had come to know – they knew he always waited for Jaemin and after that first day on campus together, everyone thought he was just the _best_ boyfriend for helping Jaemin through his exam.

“What’s up Jenito” Han said, bumping shoulders with him

“Hey bro. Good, you?”

“’Sup man” Chan said, shaking his hand.

“How was it?” Jeno asked them, wondering where Jaemin was. He hadn’t come out of the exam venue yet.

“It’s over now that’s all that matters.” Han said “Now it’s time to partyyyy” Han and Chan high-fived, excited for the night of irresponsibility that lay ahead.

“Did you see Jaemin?” Jeno asked them

“Oh yeah, he’s changing. He’ll be right out.” Chan answered, but Jeno was still anxious. He had a bad feeling about tonight.

“You mind if we grab a ride with you guys?” Han asked Jeno “You are coming with us, right?”

“Yeah, sure”

Just then Jaemin came out of the venue, Jeno could feel his body instantly respond. As he walked over to them, the moonlight glittering in his hair, Han let out a low whistle.

“Jeno, my man, you are one _lucky_ dude. Hot damn”

At that moment, Jeno didn’t feel very lucky, in fact he felt cursed. Jaemin looked gorgeous – a white tee under a black jacket trimmed with rainbow glitter and narrow black slacks. Glitter on his eyes and gloss on his lips. Jeno felt like he was drowning.

“Let’s go” Jaemin said, smiling at his two classmates, avoiding Jeno’s eyes.

“I’ll drive” Jeno said as they reached the Jeep. Jaemin silently tossed him the keys and the four hopped in and sped off.

They reached Playground just shy of 8pm, which was still early for the club. But Jaemin wanted to get his buzz on as soon as possible.

“The others are already inside, Tzuyu and Felix are coming later.” Jaemin said as Jeno parked. As Chan and Han headed into the club, Jeno grabbed Jaemin’s wrist to stop him. Finally, Jaemin looked at him. Jeno saw something in his eyes, like a dark cloud that blocked out the stars.

“Jaem, I think we should go home.”

“Don’t” Jaem snapped at him, suddenly angry.

“Jaemin, I – “

“I said, _don’t_.” He threw Jeno’s hand off and marched inside, leaving Jeno no choice but to follow.

Once inside, Jeno was bombarded with noise and overlapping voices as he was able to meet Jaemin’s best friends; Renjun, Chenle, Donghyuck and Jisung. They five clung to each other as they were finally reunited after a gruelling month of exams.

As Chenle and Jisung headed over to the bar with Jaemin to get the first round, Jeno was squeezed between Renjun and Donghyuck in the VVIP booth.

“So when did you start dating?”

“How did you meet?”

“You’re really hot”

“Are you also studying?”

Jeno could feel his brain fry at the amount of sheer hyperactivity these two exuded.

“Uhm… we’re not dating. Just close family friends” Jeno said, sticking to the story him and Jaemin had agreed upon.

“Wait, wait, wait you’re _not_ dating?” Donghyuck asked, confused. “But you’re together like _every day_.”

“How do you know that?” Jeno asked, raising a brow.

“Dude, the school forum literally posts Nomin updates daily.” Renjun explained, frowning at Jeno as if this piece of information was common sense. “Also, Jaemin talks about you _a lot_.”

_He does?_

“Nomin?”

“Yeah, Jeno and Jaemin.”

 _Fucking hell._ Now he had to deal with campus stalkers as well. This could possibly be a big problem for him, _another_ thing he had to contact WinWin about. They would need to take the forum down.

“If you’re _just_ friends, why are you really always together?”

“We live together. Jaemin didn’t tell you?”

Donghyuck and Renjun stared, as they shook their heads. “You live in the compound?”

“Yeah, Jaemin’s mom invited me to stay. So it’s just easier for me to drive Jaemin around and help him study.”

“Okay, but do you _want_ to date him?” Donghyuck asked, narrowing his eyes at Jeno.

Jeno remained silent as his eyes drifted over to where Jaemin stood at the bar. He laughed at something Chenle had said, his pretty smile lighting up his face.

“Hyuck! We don’t even know of he likes boys.” Renjun scolded Donghyuck over Jeno’s head.

“Do you like boys?” Donghyuck asked Jeno directly, but he wasn’t listening. He was too busy appreciating the way Jaemin’s legs looked in those pants.

Renjun and Donghyuck looked around trying to see what Jeno was looking at that suddenly had him quiet and distracted.

“I think that’s a yes.” Donghyuck said laughing, realising that it was Jaemin that held his attention.

As Chenle, Jisung and Jaemin returned from the VVIP bar, Jeno could tell that the night was going to be a disaster just based on the amount of drinks and shots the three brought over.

The group waved Han and Chan over from the dance floor, luckily the club wasn’t too busy yet. They cheered, happy to be done with their exams, and downed their first round of shots. Jeno declined, he still had to drive. But that wasn’t his only reason. He had to protect Jaemin, someone could still be after him. And based on how Jaemin had already thrown back three shots in the course of 15 minutes, he was determined to get blasted.

The club filled up quickly as the night wore on, the dance floor packed with writhing bodies under the blue and purple lights, smoke hung in the air as people vaped and drank. Jeno hung back, keeping a close eye on Jaemin and his friends as they danced and let loose. He checked his watch, it was already 1am and the group were all stumbling and glassy eyed, laughing and slurring their words. At that point, Chenle and Jisung had also left together and Felix and Chan had already gone home with a passed-out Han between them.

Just as Jeno considered how he was going to convince Jaemin to leave, his body stiffened as he saw someone approach a dancing Jaemin from behind. The man had him in his sights, his eyes glinting like a predator that had spotted vulnerable prey. Jeno moved quickly, pushing through the packed bodies, just as the man reached for Jaemin’s swaying hips, Jeno was there. He sent the man off with a death stare before turning to Jaemin, the packed dancefloor pushing Jeno closer, his chest suddenly flush with Jaemin’s back.

Jaemin turned in the cramped space to see who had come up behind him. _Jeno_.

“Jaemin, I think we should-“

“Dance with me.” Jaemin purred softly, wrapping his arms around Jeno’s neck, pressing into him. Everything around Jeno ground to a halt as Jaemin looked at him with his soft brown eyes, slender frame _so_ painfully close. The music around them seemed to reverberate in his bones, pushing him closer and closer to the edge. Hypnotic. Completely bewitched by the boy in front of him, everyone around them faded away.

_There is a faint trace of_ _your sweet scent_

_Deep within you, take your clothes off._

Time slowed, and as Jaemin swayed seductively against him, Jeno did the one thing he had promised himself he would never do.

He kissed him.

_I want nothing on me but you_

His whole body suddenly on fire, Jeno pulled him in as Jaemin kissed him back. Hungry and intense, all thought and reason leaving him.

_Take a step towards me, you and I are in a hurry._

_The distance between us, gradually decreases._

Not in control of himself, Jeno grabbed hold of Jaemin’s hips, pulling him impossibly close. Unaware of his own hands, Jeno slipped his fingers under his shirt, Jaemin’s skin impossibly soft, radiating heat.

_I want nothing on me but you_

The hundreds of people around them forgotten, Jaemin tangled his hands in Jeno’s hair. As drunk as he was, Jaemin knew he had never been kissed like that before. With so much heat, nothing held back as their tongues clashed, biting, nibbling.

_I want nothing on me but you_

There was something in Jaemin that called to Jeno, and a part of him was desperate to respond. Driven by that part of him that _craved_ Jaemin, he broke the kiss only to nibble his way along Jeamin’s jaw, sucking and biting the delicate exposed skin above his collarbone. As Jaemin moaned softly in his ear, it was like electricity running through his veins, pushing him further.

_I want nothing on me but you_

Jeno tasted of heaven, and smelled _so_ good. The way he was worshipping his collarbone, made Jaemin’s toes curl, his insides melting. Gasping at the sensation.

“Jeno” he whispered in his ear “Let’s get out of here.” Jeno froze as Jaemin spoke.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Jaemin’s voice violently shook Jeno back to reality. His hands were caressing, Jaemin’s sweet bare skin, red and purple flowers blooming along his neck and collarbone. He was looking at Jeno with lust sparkling in his eyes, cheeks pink.

_What have I done?_

Jeno’s body ran cold as he realised what had just happened. He had fucked up. Badly. God this was a disaster.

Slowly, Jeno nodded. Taking Jaemin’s hand he led him through the crowd and out of the club. Jaemin was stumbling, still drunk, so Jeno simply bent down and indicated for Jaemin to hop on his back. Jaemin obliged, wrapping his arms around his neck, resting his chin on his shoulder.

Jeno made his way out of the club as quickly as he could, as Jaemin had now taken it upon himself to gently trace his fingers along Jeno’s chest. His soft touch making his head swim. Desperate to leave, Jeno popped Jaemin in the Jeep and dashed back to the club.

He stuffed a $100 in the bouncers hand and gave him express instructions to get Donghyuck, Renjun and Tzuyu home, they were the only ones left.

Jeno clambered into the Jeep and looked at Jaemin. He had fallen asleep against the window, breath slow and soft. Thank God, if Jaemin had wanted to finish what they had started in the club, he didn’t think he would have been able to resist.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck_

Jeno drove home like a madman. He needed to get away from Jaemin. Even as his mind told him how badly he had screwed up, his body _desperately_ wanted Jaemin. He wanted to kiss him again, taste him, feel his skin against his, he wanted to -

Shaking his head to clear his lude thoughts, Jeno wheeled into the garage with a screech. Carrying Jaemin to his room bridal style, Jeno gently placed him on his bed, pulling off his shoes and jacket, he snugly wrapped him in the covers and left.

Jeno entered his own room and leaned against the door, suddenly out of breath. He closed his eyes and thought about what had happened, but he couldn’t think straight, the memory of how Jaemin tasted and felt in his arms completely taking over his mind.

His pants suddenly feeling impossibly tight, Jeno headed for the bathroom. He needed take a very _long_ , very _cold_ shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Jeno will do next?  
> Will Jaemin remember what happened in the morning?
> 
> Share your predictions in the comments! :)
> 
> P.S Lots of angst, spice and sexy times ahead
> 
> P.P.S I won't be able to update daily anymore, life suddenly got busy :(


	14. Complications

Jaemin woke up feeling like he had died and gone to hell. He had never had such a bad hangover in all his adult life. Head pounding, body stiff, stomach rancid, he tried to get up but nausea made the room turn.

At least he had slept through the night for the first time in weeks, even if that meant he felt like shit now. Flopping back down, he reached for his phone. It was already 11am and he had hundreds of messages.

Different group chats posting pictures from the previous night, drunk texts, complaints about being hungover.

_Hangover breakfast?_ Jaemin texted their _4 Gays + Jisung_ group chat.

 _God yes –_ Renjun

 _Please, I’m dying –_ Donghyuck

 _I’m already in the ground, save me –_ Chenle

 _I can’t feel me face_ – Jisung

_Meet you there in an hour <3_

His friends confirmed. There was a waffle house not too far from campus that had the best waffles, they would always go there after a night out for some sugary, oily food and strong coffee to cure their hangovers. Jaemin tried to get up again, the pounding in his head increasing. He groaned and rubbed his eyes as he stumbled to the bathroom. As he caught sight of himself he froze. Hickeys. The purple spots dotted his throat and collar bone.

 _God what did I_ do _last night?_

Making out with strangers in a club when he drank too much wasn’t anything new, but this was _not_ something he usually did. He didn’t hook up or go home with people – he was in fact still a virgin. Somehow it just never appealed to him to be that intimate with anyone. _Until Jeno_. God you're insane Jaemin, he thought.

His usual habit was to just make out, no strings attached, no names, leave and never see each other again. That was fine and fun. But _this_ bordered on something that was unknown to him.

Leaning closer to the mirror, he examined the small bruises trying to remember. He couldn’t recall what exactly happened, but it was _good_. He didn’t know why or how but his systems seemed to remember the kiss and the hickeys, and his body told him it had been _good._ Jaemin frowned, trying to remember the person he had been with, but his memories were hazy. There was something familiar about them though, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. But did he know them? Have they made out before? Shaking his head, Jaemin hopped through the shower, feeling much more refreshed.

Still achy and a bit nauseous, Jaemin headed to the kitchen. He could get in some coffee before meeting his friends. It was Sunday, the house was empty and quiet so Jaemin was surprised to hear someone moving about. He rounded the corner and saw Jeno making some coffee. Jaemin hesitated, he had been really bratty to Jeno yesterday.

“Morning” Jaemin said, sheepishly.

“Hey.” Jeno said, not turning around.

_Was he mad?_

“Listen, Jen. I’m really sorry” He said. Jeno seemed to stiffen, but he still kept his back to Jaemin.

“For what?”

“I was upset and I took it out on you. So, I’m sorry.”

Silence fell between them. Jaemin frowned, why didn’t Jeno look at him? Was he really _that_ mad? Wanting to clear the air, he opened his mouth but just then, Jeno turned to face him.

He gulped at the sight of Jaemin. Freshly showered, hair tousled and wet, an oversized shirt that fell to his bare thighs. Small bruises on his neck and collarbone stark against his pale skin.

“It’s…fine. No worries.” Jeno said, struggling to find his voice as he saw the remnants of his actions on Jaemin’s body.

 _It's not fine_ , Jaemin thought. Did something else happen? Jeno’s usual warmth was gone, his voice deep and cold, eyes distant.

“Uhm… by the way. Do you know anything about this?” Jaemin asked, pointing at the hickeys. _W_ _hy do I feel guilty? I didn't do anything wrong_. But now, standing in front of Jeno asking him about who he had made out with, made Jaemin feel guilty and self-conscious somehow. 

Jeno blanched at Jaemin's question, not trusting his own voice he kept quiet.

“I… uhm … can’t really remember much.” Jaemin said, rubbing his neck awkwardly, Jeno shook his head as if he had _no_ idea how that happened.

“Did you bring me home?”

Jeno just nodded.

“Thanks for that” he said shyly, “So, uhm… me and the guys are going out for breakfast if you wanna come?”

Jeno shook his head, “I have to help Yuta with something. The dude behind what happened was dealt with, remember? And now your exam is over, I don’t need to stick by you every day.” Jeno explained calmly.

“Sure, sure. I get it” Jaemin pretended he wasn’t disappointed. He had secretly hoped that Jeno actually liked his company and _wanted_ to be with him. “I’ll … uh see you later then?”

Jaemin left without making coffee.

Jaemin arrived at Dream Waffle House first, he came earlier than his friends on purpose so that he could sit as far away from the window as possible. Grabbing a booth in the back, he settled down, waiting for his friends. He scrolled through Instagram as he waited, but didn’t really register what he was seeing on his feed, his thoughts were on Jeno. They were friends, they had spent way too much time together and were too comfortable around one another to _not_ be friends. But it seemed that Jaemin had overestimated how close they were and how much Jeno really cared about him. It was after all his job to protect him, but the things he had done for Jaemin seemed to be above and beyond what was expected. The times he held him when his nightmares almost ripped him apart, all the times he had studied with Jeno by his side, the study Jeno had set up for him. The hugs, the comfortable touches, the softness and warmth. Did Jaemin imagine all of it? That feeling of knowing Jeno forever, being completely himself around the other – was it all in his head? Thinking about that morning, how cold Jeno was toward him. His eyes distant, Jaemin couldn’t help but feel a pang of hurt. Jeno had been by his side for 24/7 but now that wasn’t the case anymore, it didn’t even seem like Jeno cared. But Jaemin missed him, he wished he was there next to him, even if things were awkward right now.

“Nana!” Hyuck’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Jaemin looked up, his friends entering the shop. He smiled at them and waved, his heart soothed by the sight of his favourite people. They plopped down in the booth, voices chattering over each other. Each complaining about how bad he felt, or joking about their scandalous behaviour last night.

“God, I thought I died” Hyuck said around a mouthful of waffle

“Dude, I woke up this morning in the _tub_.” Jisung said.

“You guys left first, how much did you drink?” Renjun asked

Jisung just shrugged, and asked “How did you get home by the way?”

“I _think_ we Ubered. Not sure, the bouncer helped us though, that much I remember.”

“Jeno took me home” Jaemin shared.

“Speaking of, where is he?” Chenle asked

“Uhm… he’s got some work to do.”

“So you guys are official now right?” Donghyuck asked.

“No, what do you mean?”

“You’re not?? Seeing how you guys went _ham_ on each other last night, I thought you were official now.”

“Yeah I saw that too.” Renjun confirmed, mouth full.

“What are you talking about?” Jaemin asked, confused.

“Bro, you were making out. And I mean like _making out_.” Hyuck explained, “I thought you were going to rip each other’s close off.”

“We did what?” Jaemin asked, shocked. He felt the blood drain from his face as he thought about the hickeys he had covered with makeup less than an hour ago.

“You don’t remember?” Renjun asked, frowning, “Jeno didn’t drink last night so just ask him”

“Uhm… I remember kissing someone.” Jaemin explained, why were his hands suddenly shaking? “I already asked Jeno about it”

“And?” Jisung and Chenle asked in unison

“Uhm… he said he didn’t know anything.”

“Are you serious??” Donghyuck exclaimed loudly. “He lied to you?”

Jaemin nodded slowly, seems like it.

“God, I’ll beat his Nickelback looking ass _up_. You should talk to him Jaemin, this is _not_ okay.”

“I thought he liked you! Why would he lie? Even if you can’t remember, he should have told you first!”

The pang of hurt Jaemin had been feeling earlier spread into a proper heartache. Part of him hoped his friends were wrong and that it wasn’t Jeno they had seen with him, that he was telling the truth. But Jaemin doubted it. That morning Jeno was _so_ indifferent, did he just take advantage of Jaemin? Or did he regret kissing him?

His friends were upset on his behalf, rightfully so.

“Let’s talk about something else okay?” Jaemin asked. Taking his facial expression as a que, they quickly changed the conversation to holiday plans, school things, cute boys and girls on campus.

Jaemin didn’t want to talk about Jeno anymore. He didn’t want to think about him anymore. But somehow, in that moment Jaemin still missed him.

Once again Jeno found himself in an SUV with Yuta, heading to an undisclosed location, hoping he wasn’t going to be executed. He had been really relieved when Yuta had texted him that morning, asking to meet him. He didn’t know how he was going to face Jaemin, much less spend an entire day with him. Luckily, Jaemin didn’t seem to remember what had happened in the club, and Jeno wanted to keep it that way. He needed to put some distance between them.

“Where are we going this time?” He asked

“You’ll see” was the only answer Yuta gave. Jeno shifted uncomfortably in his seat, slightly anxious.

After nearly an hour of driving in silence, they finally pulled up beside a massive warehouse in a rural factory district outside the city. Yuta hopped out and Jeno followed, not sure what to expect. The area was deserted, the surrounding warehouses and factories seeming empty and rundown, but Yuta obviously knew where he was going. As they approached the warehouse, Jeno was surprised to see how sophisticated the security was. There were biometrics locks on the doors and weaponized cameras on every corner. Taking careful note of what he saw, he wondered what was inside.

They also had record of all of the properties Maria owned or could possibly be linked to her under a different name, and this one was definitely _not_ on that list. Yuta opened the biometric locks and entered the facility, Jeno in tow.

The inside was _insane_. Not even at Interpol had he ever seen anything like this. Rows and rows of shelves of tech, gun racks, ammunition and body armour took up every inch of warehouse. It looked like a scene from _Kingsmen_ , a small fortune in stockpiled weapons.

“You know how to shoot right?” came Yuta’s voice from the left

Jeno nodded.

“Follow me.”

Yuta headed down one of the rows filled with gunracks. Near the end of the row, past all of the rifles and semi-automatic weapons, were racks full of handguns and boxes of ammunition.

“Preference?” Yuta asked, waving at the different calibres

“Uh… 9 mil is fine” Jeno answered. What was going on? Was Yuta going to kill him? Did he just pick the gun he was going to get shot with? Was he going to have to kill someone? Interpol had given him the green light to participate in most illegal things while o this mission, but _murder_ was not one of them.

Yuta pulled out a Sig and a Glock34 from the rack, “Grab some ammo” he instructed Jeno.

Jeno grabbed 4 boxes of ammo and followed Yuta as he headed to the back of the warehouse to a different entrance.

Behind the warehouse was a carpark filled with large tactical- and off-road vehicles and an open-air gun range.

“Okay kid, it’s your time to shine. Dissemble and assemble” Yuta instructed him, handing him the Sig, grip first. With quick, deft hands, Jeno dissembled the gun and assembled it again, loading the magazine. He repeated the process with the Glock.

“Nice. Let’s see you shoot.” Yuta said, indicating the targets, 20 feet away.

Nodding, Jeno stepped up and sighted the target, he popped the safety and emptied the magazine into the white board. 17 shots perfectly grouped each less than an inch apart. The range was outside, and both Yuta and Jeno were obviously used to the loud bang of a pistol so they wore neither goggles nor noise cancelling headphones.

“Damn, you’re a hell of a shot.” Yuta said, looking at the target far off. His shots were grouped so close together, the cardboard wasn’t even shredded.

“How did you learn to shoot?”

“Some _friends_ in France.”

Yuta paused, “Listen, Maria wants you to start carrying.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, things in Hong Kong didn’t go well. There might be some serious fallout soon.” Yuta explained, worry creased his forehead as he stuck his hands in his pockets, looking into the distance. Jeno frowned, what had happened in Hong Kong?

“Your biometrics are on the doors, you can swing by whenever and take what you want. You can also grab a Wrangler. A gift from Maria” Yuta held out another set of keys, the scene oddly familiar.

“Uhm… thanks.”

“You can check out some of the other stuff inside if you want. Make sure you give her a call soon. There's some things you need to be briefed on” He clapped Jeno on the back and left.

Jaemin was woken from his nap by the incessant vibrating of his phone on his bedside table. Prying open his eyes, he reached for it and checked the caller ID; _Doyoung_. Frowning, he picked up.

“Hyung?” his said, voice sleepy.

“You little punk. Why do you even have a phone if you don’t pick up when we call?”

“Sorry. I was busy.”

“Yeah, sure. Listen we had an idea.”

“Yeah?”

“The house in Busan has just been renovated. Why don’t you take your friends and spend some time there?”

“Uh… I don’t really feel like travelling hyung”

“Nana.” Jaemin sat up slowly, Doyoung was suddenly serious, voice flat. “This isn’t really a request.”

Jaemin frowned, “Did something happen?”

“I can’t say much now, but your mom will be out of town for a while still, and you need to leave Seoul.”

“Uhm… okay, yeah sure. When?”

“In two days. The jet will be ready for you at Gimpo Airport. Invite your friends, it might be better for them to go too.”

“Okay.” Jaemin hesitated, worried about what Doyoung wasn’t telling him, “Jeno’s coming too?”

“Of course. Why? Did something happen?”

“No… no, I was just asking.”

“Be safe okay. Talk soon.”

“You too. Bye hyung.”

Jaemin just stared at the phone in his hand, puzzled but not afraid. At least he seemed to be able to hold on to some his apathy when it came to himself.

Jaemin quickly texted his friends and his classmates, inviting them with him to Busan on a spontaneous ‘trip’ to celebrate the end of the academic year. Getting up with a sigh, he started packing.

It was late, the mansion quiet. Moonlight creeping in through the window, Jeno sat on his bed with the remnants of various computers and devices strewn about. After Yuta had left, he had raided the tech section of the weapons cache.

He was able to fashion a crude, bit untraceable communication device. It couldn’t even receive any correspondence, but would at least get his message to WinWin. Tapping away at the detached keyboard of a stripped laptop, Jeno quickly sent an encrypted message. He detailed everything that had happened, including the names of the important people he had met so far, undisclosed locations and his own suspicions.

Jaemin’s name wasn’t mentioned once.

Jeno disassembled his makeshift messenger and took his time putting the devices he had stripped back together, they probably wouldn’t work perfectly, he had been rough. But at least now they wouldn’t look suspicious to any curious eyes. It was nearing sunrise when Jeno finally finished and flopped down on his bed, but he was unable to sleep, his mind whirring.

Interpol wouldn’t do anything with all the info he had sent them, they would use it to build a case. Acting now would be foolish – they didn’t have enough to prosecute anyone. Jeno rolled over, trying to be more comfortable. Just as he felt the fog of sleep settle over him, he heard Jaemin whimper and cry.

Jeno clenched his teeth, gripping the pillow until his hands hurt. Everything in him was telling him to go to Jaemin, to hold him like he had done for weeks. But Jeno couldn’t do that now. Not after what he had done in the club.

Unable to rest, Jeno squeezed his eyes shut as felt his heart break at the thought of Jaemin in pain, alone.

_This is going to be a disaster_.

Jaemin looked around at his friends gathered in the private hanger, joking loudly. Chenle was chasing a screaming Jisung, Han and Tzuyu were arguing loudly about some new idol group. Chan was desperately trying to flirt with Sana but was failing miserably. Felix, Donghyuck and Han had their heads together, probably plotting something insane. Tzuyu had also brought another friend who Jaemin didn’t know well. Alexa was a famous Russian-Korean model who was also studying nursing in the same department as Renjun and Donghyuck.

Based on the frequency his friends usually operate at, throwing himself and Jeno into the mix, these next two weeks could either be the time of his life, or a massive disaster.

Jaemin eyed Jeno who was standing a bit away from the group, talking to the pilot in hushed tones. They hadn’t spoken for two days, and Jaemin missed him. Badly. He was still hurt and confused as to why Jeno wasn’t being honest with him. And he secretly wished that Jeno would come up to him and talk about it first, but he hasn’t yet. Which made Jaemin even sadder, but somehow also relieved. He was afraid that Jeno may say something he _really_ didn’t want to hear. But to be fair, Jaemin hadn’t tried to talk to him again either. Maybe they could sort this out during their trip, or maybe Jaemin could just pretend he had never remembered and that everything was fine.

Jaemin sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“You okay?” Donghyuck asked

“Just tired, I didn’t get much sleep last night.” He replied. Jaemin’s nightmares had been particularly bad the previous night, and when he started awake, he was alone. He felt Jeno’s absence like a cold hand around his heart. This was the first time since the incident that he woke up, screaming, and Jeno’s warmth wasn’t there. After that Jaemin couldn’t fall asleep again.

Wondering if he had done something wrong, Jaemin headed over to the plane as the pilot waved them over. The flight to Busan was short, but eventful. Everyone was excited for the trip, chattering incessantly, joking, the volume inside the cabin reaching fever-pitch.

“WHAT??” Suddenly Alexa’s voice cut through the buzz, everyone turning to her in surprise at the outburst. She had been sitting next to Jeno.

“DID YOU KNOW HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN??” She called to Jaemin pointing at Jeno, excitement spilling from her pretty eyes.

Jaemin just shook his head, he hadn’t known that. He glanced over to Jeno, but he wasn’t looking his way. Jeno was smiling softly at Alexa, who was both happy and surprised that someone spoke her language. Still overly excited, she turned to Jeno and fired off a stream of Russian, which he nodded to and replied comfortably.

Jaemin turned away again, looking ahead. Jaemin knew that Jeno had secrets.

_Does he like her?_

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Donghyuck asked him again, he had taken the seat next to him, Renjun on the other side.

Jaemin just nodded his head.

“Have you talked to him yet?”

Jaemin shook his head, “I think maybe tonight I’ll bring it up” he paused, “but don’t do or say anything stupid until then, okay? I’ll deal with this.” He said, smiling at his friends.

Renjun leaned over and squeezed his knee.

“Dibs on the one with the best view!” Tzuyu called as she dragged Sana and Alexa up the stairs. They were finally at the Na vacation home in Busan, complete with a private beach. It was a beautiful home, everything was whitewashed and bright, like a scene from a Greek island. Everyone dashed up the stairs, ready to grab the best rooms. 

"Nana you're the best!"

"Thanks for inviting us Jaem!" he got loads of hugs, a couple of pecked cheeks before everyone set out to explore the house. His friends were the sweetest, he was excited to spend some time with them and maybe just for two weeks forget about his worries.

“You wanna room with me and Jun?” Donghyuck asked.

“Nah, I’ll be okay alone.” Jaemin said with a smile. In reality, he would have loved to share a room with them, but he didn’t want his nightmares and screaming to wake them, they wouldn’t understand and he wouldn’t be able to tell them why he was like this.

Donghyuck frowned at him – out of all of them, Jaemin was the one who liked cuddles and hugs the most, it was odd that he wanted to be alone, but he didn’t press the matter. Jaemin would tell them if he wanted to.

Jaemin smiled at them reassuringly, and trudged up the stairs following all the chattering and loud voices as his friends started to unpack and admire their rooms. Even though the beach house was much smaller than the compound, the two-story home still sported 10 bedrooms, so there was enough space for everyone. Heading down the hall where all the guest rooms were, he passed the rooms where his friends were making themselves comfortable, to the room at the very end of the passage.

Jaemin entered and dumped his bag on one of the double beds in the room, he froze. Jeno’s duffle bag was already on the other bed.

 _No, no, no this is not good._ Jaemin didn’t want to share a room with Jeno for two weeks, and he also _definitely_ didn’t want Jeno to think he chose this room because of him. Grabbing his bag again, Jaemin whirled around to leave and walked right into someone’s solid chest.

“Careful Jaem.” Jeno said, lightly taking his shoulders to steady him. These were the first words Jeno had spoken to him in days.

“Sorry” Jaemin hesitated, “I um… I wanted to take the furthest room, so I don’t wake everyone.” He spoke softly, not meeting Jeno’s eye. Jeno let him go, nodding.

“Sure, I don’t mind sharing” he smiled softly at Jaemin, then stepped around him go unpack. That was _not_ what Jaemin had wanted Jeno to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small set up for what is going to happen next!! 
> 
> Nomin sharing a room for 2 weeks huihuihuihuihuihui what are your predictions for their little getaway?  
> What's going on in Hong Kong? Is Nana safe?
> 
> Let me know what you think will happen next!! <3 <3
> 
> P.S thanks soooo much for all of the love you guys have shown this fic. You motivate me!! I promise to work hard and make every chapter better & better.


	15. Hooked

The sun rose higher in the sky as the morning wore on, everyone unpacking and settling in. Some were playing games, or walking around outside exploring.

Jaemin was in the kitchen with Chan, making a list on his phone of what they would need for the next two weeks. The vacation home wasn’t fully staffed like the compound, so they had to take care of themselves while there.

“Ice cream?” Chan asked, standing next to Jaemin, elbows on the countertop.

“Ooh yeah. You guys like chocolate, right?” Chan nodded and he added it to the list along with mint chocolate.

“Ew you like mint chocolate?” Chan said, looking at Jeamin’s list.

“Gross no, Jeno does.” Jaemin said, not looking at his friend.

“You guys good now?” He asked, hesitating.

“Hyuck told you?” Jaemin asked. Chan nodded.

“I’m not sure” Jaemin sighed, a little annoyed that everyone knew what had happened and would now be watching him and Jeno to see what happens next. He didn’t even know what to do himself.

“Okay, so I think this is everything. I’ll take the Buggy and run to the store the next town over.”

“I’ll go with you” Chan said with a smile as they left the kitchen.

Jaemin quickly checked in on the girls to see if they wanted anything specific, not knowing where the boys suddenly went. He reached his room, where Jeno was reading on the bed.

“Uhm… Chan and I are going to the store, you want anything specific?”

“No, I’ll come with you though.”

“That’s – that’s not necessary” Jaemin said, holding up his hands.

But Jeno was already up, pulling on his shoes. Jaemin gulped as he saw how Jeno’s back flex underneath his white tee while he tied the laces of his scuffed boots.

 _God help me_.

With Jeno in tow, Jaemin headed to the living room where a great deal of shouting could be heard. The boys were gathered around a massive flatscreen where Jisung and Felix were having an epic FIFA showdown on the PlayStation. All of the boys were gathered around, jumping, pointing, shouting advice, curse words flinging through the air.

“Fuck _aauuff!_ ”

“Pass! Bro pass!”

“Oh my God your defence sucks!”

“Yes yes yes!”

“ _NOOIICCEE!”_

Jaemin smiled at his friends as he watched how they played, voices overlapping excitedly. Catching sight of Jaemin, Chan jumped over a coach and stopped in front of Jaemin.

“You going to the store?”

“Yeah, you still coming?”

“Of cours - !” Chan nearly choked as he was suddenly cut off when Donghyuck grabbed his collar and pulled him back sharply.

“Sorry Nana! Chan is up next! You guys go ahead!” he yelled over the noise, a spluttering Chan in hand. Jaemin panicked as he saw the smirk on Hyuck’s face. Not knowing what else to do, the situation already awkward, he just waved goodbye.

After nearly an hour’s drive, it was already late afternoon by the time Jaemin and Jeno reached the store. Luckily the roofless Buggy made it difficult to talk during the drive, or it would have been very awkward, the silence between them heavy.

Jaemin hopped out and headed into the store, not looking back.

Jeno watched as Jaemin walked away. The last few days have been difficult to say the least. He found himself unable to sleep, on edge, worried. He had called Maria after he left the stockpile that day with Yuta. Some deal in Hong Kong had soured, and now the Na Syndicate and the Chinese Triad were on the outs. Maria had asked him to take care of Jaemin, and he agreed immediately, even though he knew this would take him away from the compound and possibly delay his mission. Somehow Jaemin had climbed his list of priorities. The Triad were powerful, influential – and much more ruthless than the syndicate. They wouldn’t hesitate to come after Jaemin to make a point. And Jeno would be right by his side to make sure that wouldn’t happen. Even if he had to share a room with Jaemin and make himself even more miserable than he already was. Sighing, he hopped out of the Buggy and followed Jaemin inside.

They had bought enough food for an army.

 _We don’t even eat this much_ , Jeno thought, thinking about his unit back in France. They had filled two trolleys to the brim with food, snacks and alcohol. He smiled softly as he watched Jaemin dig through a freezer for a very specific brand of chicken nuggets that Hyuck liked. His heart softened at how Jaemin knew exactly what each of his friends liked, what they disliked and even what they were allergic to. He had even planned out their dinner menu for the whole two weeks – he would of course be doing most of the cooking, not risking one of the others accidentally setting the house on fire.

“I think that’s it” Jaemin said, scanning the list on his phone to make sure they got everything, nibbling his lip. Jeno took the chance to look at him, closely. His soft white hair fell endearingly over his brow, his long lashes spiking into his cheeks as he looked down. He was wearing one of his oversized hoodies, a soft yellow, over shorts that exposed his long, pale legs.

“Okay, done. We c-“ Jaemin fell silent when he looked up and saw that Jeno had stepped closer to him while he was busy with the list. He met his soft crescent eyes, and the world seemed to tilt. Slowly, Jeno raised his hand and gentle as a feather, laid his palm on Jaemin’s cheek.

“You look tired Jaem.” He whispered, caressing Jaemin’s cheek with his thumb.

“I uh… didn’t sleep so well. The last few days” he said softly, still lost in Jeno’s eyes and the sensation of _finally_ being close to him again. A pang of guilt tightened around Jeno’s heart as he softly thumbed the shadows under Jaemin’s beautiful eyes, knowing he was responsible.

“I’ll barbeque for us tonight, okay? Take a rest and have some fun with your friends.” He smiled softly at him.

“Okay.” Jaemin agreed without complaint, smiling back. But sadness seemed to still pull at his eyes. He stepped away from Jeno and headed to the cashier with his trolley, leaving an equally sad Jeno behind.

Loading their haul in the car, the air between them was once again heavy. The atmosphere thick with unspoken words and unresolved feelings.

Jaemin didn’t know what to do. He still wanted to talk to Jeno about the kiss, but after Jeno had reached for him in the store, he was afraid to make things worse. He had missed their comfortable closeness, but what if Jeno shut him out again? Complicated thoughts whirled through Jaemin’s head, twisting with his emotions, his insides messy. They hopped in the car and Jeno sped off, his heart and thoughts in much the same condition as Jaemin’s.

The Busan house had already been checked out and investigated thoroughly by WinWin when he was doing recon months before. It had no connection to the syndicate and was a very legitimate vacation home of Director Maria Na. so while he was there, there really wasn’t much he could do with regards to the case. Which once again pushed Jaemin to the forefront of his mind. Everything he had tried to suppress, the feelings he didn’t dare feel, were now breaching the surface.

As they drove, the sun setting next to them, the wind whipping by, Jaemin’s heart and thoughts suddenly grew impatient. He couldn’t silence himself anymore, he couldn’t keep quiet knowing they would be sleeping in the same room for the next two weeks. Whatever happened next, whatever Jeno said, couldn’t be as painful as trying to constantly shove his emotions down.

Tapping Jeno on the shoulder, he directed him to take the next right, which would lead them directly to the beach. Jeno did as Jaemin had gestured, and a few minutes later, the buggy was parked on golden sand. The sun was setting in front of them, outside of the city the beach was quiet and empty. The waves crashed slowly around them as the warm summer air tousled their hair.

Jaemin hopped out and walked toward the water for a bit before plopping down in the sand, sighing as he smelled the comforting scent of the salty water. Slightly puzzled, Jeno sat down next to him, crossing his legs in the sand. Jaemin drew his knees to his chest, trying to offer himself some small comfort.

Taking a deep breath, he looked at the waves and spoke, “I know you lied to me.” His voice was soft, he didn’t dare look at Jeno. A moment of silence fell between them, Jaemin wanted to run away, bury himself in the sand. What if Jeno refused to speak to him at all? What if they couldn’t resolve anything, but just make things worse?

“I’m sorry, Jaem.” Jeno said suddenly, his voice low.

“Did you _want_ to kiss me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you regret it?” Jaemin finally looked at Jeno. His heart stuttered as their eyes met, Jeno had been looking at him this entire time. Now meeting his eyes, he saw something there. Worry and sadness. Hurt?

“No” He whispered.

“Then why did you lie?” Jaemin asked, sadness tinging his voice.

Jeno kept quiet, keeping his eyes on Jaemin.

He didn’t press Jeno, he wasn’t angry, he didn’t want to fight or argue. He was just hurt and confused. Slowly Jeno began to speak, looking away.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you. It would be better if you hadn’t remembered.”

“Was it a mistake?”

Jeno nodded, still looking away. Jaemin’s voice was soft as he spoke, breaking Jeno’s heart. He wished that Jaemin would be angry in that moment, furious, yelling and fighting. But now he just seemed hurt. Which was much, much worse. Jeno would take Jaemin’s temper over his sadness any day.

“Why?” Jaemin asked slowly, afraid of what Jeno would answer.

“I didn’t even want to think about starting something with you Jaem, knowing there could never really be an us.” He turned back to Jaemin, suddenly desperate to explain. In that moment, he so badly wanted to tell Jaemin everything. Who he really was, why Jeno was really in his life. He so badly wished he could lie to him too, tell him he didn’t care about him, hurt him, break him and push him away. But he just _couldn’t_. Having Jaemin next to him, so close, looking at him with such hurt and puzzlement, what he held in his heart spilled out.

“Why?” Jaemin asked slowly, “Jen, I don’t understand.” Jaemin turned to Jeno completely, leaning toward him, waiting for his reply.

“There are … things Jaem. Things you don’t know. It’s … complicated. Really complicated.”

 _Jaemin, let it go. Don’t push me further, please._ Jeno pleaded in his mind, he knew he couldn’t resist Jaemin, so he desperately wished Jaemin would stop closing in on his heart.

“Jen, I know you have secrets.” Jaemin whispered, smiling gently. Slowly he was understanding.

“If things weren’t complicated, if there weren’t any secrets, what then?” Jaemin asked him.

Exactly as Jeno had feared, Jaemin crushed the last of Jeno’s resolve. Thinking only of the person in front of him, Jeno reached out and cupped Jaemin’s face.

He kissed him. Tenderly, slowly.

Jaemin reached for him and kissed him back, softly at first, and then with a rising intensity making Jeno cling to him as the only solid thing in his suddenly upside-down world. Jeno took Jaemin’s narrow waist in his hands and pulled him into his lap. Their soft, sunset kiss deepened, becoming more frantic, needy. Wild tremors racked through Jaemin’s nerves, drawing from him sensations he had never known he was capable of feeling. All the world suddenly fell silent, the only thing Jeno could hear was his own frantic heartbeat as he held starlight itself in his arms. On fire, finally having what he had been _craving_ for days. But fear cluttered his mind. Fear of going too far, of ruining his mission. Ruining Jaemin.

But ruining himself never crossed his mind.

With a gentle sigh, Jaemin pulled back. Jeno looked up at him, seeing his lips pink and wet, face flushed. Jeno’s body _burned._

“Jaem, we can’t – ” Jeno began, but Jaemin interrupted him with a swift peck on the lips.

“Shh. I know.” He smiled at him gently, a soft finger tracing Jeno’s jaw, “Can we pretend that we’re normal? Just for two weeks let’s forget about everything else. Like it’s really just you and me.”

Jeno nodded clinging to Jaemin, he was beyond the point of no return, lost in everything that was Na Jaemin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Nomin will have a dreamy vacation? Two-weeks of no worries and cuddles? Or could something happen to ruin the progress they made? Let me know your predictions and thoughts! <3
> 
> Enjoy!! <3 <3 this chapter was so much fun to write, I hope you guys enjoy reading it!


	16. Bliss

The rest of the warm summer night was spent on the patio by the pool. Jeno and Chan stood by the grill, chatting comfortably. The rest were floating in the pool, swimming or helping with dinner. The smell and smoke of barbeque and the excited voices of the friends filled the night air as waves crashed in the distance.

Jaemin was sitting with his feet in the water, Donghyuck and Jisung floating close by, chatting and joking, exchanging some splashes. Every now and then his eyes would meet Jeno’s and he would blush, Jeno smiling at him warmly.

“So, how was _grocery shopping?_ ” Chenle asked, floating over, wiggling his eyebrows at a blushing Jaemin. 

“Good.” He said simply, eyes wandering back to Jeno who laughed at something Chan had said. Jaemin blushed. God he was incredible. Barefoot, swimming trunks and a black vest, Jaemin couldn’t believe that Jeno with all of his quiet confidence and unwavering strength was his. That _he_ liked him back. Even if just for their time in Busan, Jaemin could forget about everything and let his heart do what it wants. A heart that was not his own anymore.

“Hello?” Jisung asked, waving his hand in front of Jaemin’s eyes.

“What?” Jaemin hadn’t realised he had spaced out, completely distracted by his not-boyfriend.

“I take it you guys talked?” Jisung asked and Jaemin simply nodded

“And? What happened?” Donghyuck asked.

“We stopped at the beach and talked about some stuff. And then-“

“Oh my god you had beach sex!” Donghyuck exclaimed.

“Shhh Hyuck! No we didn’t!“ Jaemin hushed, kicking water at his friend.

“Car sex?”

“No!”

“Oh my god then what were you doing out there?”

“We were just talking”

“Boooring!”

“Shut up Hyuck! Jeno’s going to hear you!” Jaemin shushed, pink creeping up his cheeks.

The rest of the night was filled with barbeque, alcohol, laughter, and lots of pictures.

Past midnight, Jeno lay in bed listening to the sound of the shower running, thinking of Jaemin. Jeno was in big trouble. He had fucked up astronomically. He was ruining everything. Himself, his mission, his career. Everything was unravelling in front of him.

But he was unbothered. Instead, he was happy.

His thoughts were filled with Jaemin, his lips, his voice, his light. If someone asked him at that very moment if he had to choose between Interpol, his life in France and Jaemin – he would choose Jaemin. 

A small voice in the back of his head nagged him with worry. After 2 weeks they would have to go back to Seoul, things like they are now can’t last. He knew that. Just like how he knew how much he was hiding from Jaemin.

But he was also selfish. And he had never felt this way before, he had never known anyone like Jaemin and he wanted to hold onto it, no matter how disastrous the outcome could be.

Jaemin got out of the shower and dressed, teeth nagging at his bottom lip. He wondered if he should sleep in his own bed, or join Jeno in his. Now that they were whatever they were, Jaemin didn’t know where their boundaries or expectations lay. Knowing they only had two weeks, but not wanting to push it Jaemin decided he should sleep by himself. Turning off the lights, he stepped over to Jeno’s bed to say goodnight, but his eyes were closed as he lay on his side, already asleep. The soft moonlight coming in through the windows cast the most beautiful blue halo around him.

Jaemin smiled softly at the sight, heart warm. Just as he stepped away to go to bed, he heard the shuffle of sheets. Without even opening his eyes, Jeno had lifted the covers, inviting Jaemin in.

No hesitation, happiness in his heart, he slid in next to him. He was wrapped in warmth and the embrace of strong arms as Jeno tucked him into his chest.

With Jeno’s heartbeat under his ear, he slept for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm >:) 
> 
> Any predictions for their two weeks in Busan? What will happen to Nomin when they get back? Let me know! <3<3


	17. Guilt

The rest of the week was a taste of paradise. Jeno and Jaemin were inseparable, eliciting teasing catcalls from their friends. They talked late into the night, cuddling and laughing. Jaemin had never felt so content, so happy and safe. Somehow Jeno had melted away some of his apathy and Jaemin found himself worried and aware of things he had never been before. He also felt guilty. More than guilty, as he thought about his mother’s _business_. All of the things he liked and enjoyed, his life, were mostly funded by illegal activities. Things that hurt other people, get them killed, were the things that paid for his studies, his bikes, his home. And it was the thing that brought Jeno to him.

Jaemin wondered if he deserved to happy with Jeno, even if it was just temporary. If it wasn’t for his mom’s dealings, his life would never have been in danger and he never would have met Jeno. It weighed heavy on his heart.

At the end of their first week in Busan, it was these heavy feelings and guilty thoughts that Jaemin shared with Jeno as they sat by the poolside. They had been talking all night and the sun was about to peek out, everyone else asleep in the house.

“Jaem, you didn’t choose this life.” Jeno said, trying to comfort him

“I know, but I still benefit from it.”

“True” Jeno agreed, he wasn’t going to sugar-coat it but Jaemin was innocent in all this, “You’re still going to be a brilliant doctor, and you’ll have the chance to do better.”

Jaemin sighed, he was comforted by the fact that Jeno _knew_ him. He knew everything about him, and even though being so vulnerable with another person was scary, he had never felt so safe and understood. He looked over at Jeno, black hair falling lazily over his pretty crescent eyes. Jeno had secrets, Jaemin knew he was keeping a lot from him, but as they were now was just too good to spoil. Whatever was between them had an expiration date after all.

“Hey,” Jeno said yanking at strings of Jaemin’s hoodie, “Stop that.” He smiled at a pouting Jaemin. “Whatever happens, I’ll be here.” Jeno smiled, but his heart cracked just a little at the lie. They couldn’t be part of each other’s futures, but Jeno didn’t have it in him to dwell on it. His rollercoaster heart had run away with his feelings for Jaemin a long time ago.

Wanting to cheer him up, Jeno grabbed Jaemin in his arms

“What are you doing?” Jaemin laughed, “Jeno! No-!”

With Jaemin in his embrace he jumped into the pool. Water splashes, cascading over the sides.

Jaemin resurfaced laughing and spluttered, smiling “Jeno!” Just as he pushed his sopping hair out of his eyes, Jeno grabbed him and smashed their mouths together. Walking them backward until Jaemin’s back touched the side of the pool.

They had kissed and cuddled a lot the past week, but this was different. Jaemin gasped as Jeno licked between his lips, fingers digging into his hips.

There was never a time when Jeno _didn’t_ desire Jaemin, but seeing him wet and laughing, clothes clinging to his body, Jeno’s brain disintegrated. Jaemin kissed him back with the same heat and desire, arching into his firm chest, hands lost in Jeno’s wet hair. Jeno reached into the water and wrapped Jeamin’s legs around his waist, opening his body to new levels of burning pressure. Hands roamed and bruised, gasps and whispers as they devoured each other.

The rest of Jeno’s life he would remember the curve of Jaemin’s throat with his head tilted back, how his lips moved, and the fluttering of his lashes. The way Jaemin painted his body and mind with the colours of love.

“Jen” Jaemin gasped as Jeno worshipped his collarbone.

“I’ve never…” he couldn’t speak properly, his thoughts in shambles, consumed with unparalleled want.

Jeno slowed, Jaemin’s words sinking through his sunset mind.

Jeno lifted his head and met Jaemin’s eyes, they were big, blissed. The small scar on his lip stark against the pink wetness of his lips. Gently, trying his best to reign himself in, he cupped Jaemin’s face, kissing him again, softly, slowly.

“Your first time should be special Jaemin” Jeno said softly, resting his forehead on Jaemin’s, trying to catch his breath, “With someone you love.”

 _But I do love you_.

Then things changed. They still spent every minute together for the rest of their time in Busan, slept in the same bed, but some of Jeno’s warmth had gone. Again. Jaemin knew he was trying to put some distance between, preparing for whatever was waiting for them back in Seoul. Jaemin knew it was necessary, but he hated it. He hated how Jeno was pushing him away, putting up walls.

Jeno also didn’t kiss him again after that night in the pool. Whenever Jaemin tried to initiate something, he turned away. Little by little Jeno broke his heart.

Again, Jaemin found himself in an airplane, surrounded by his friends, miserable. He wished that whatever he and Jeno had that first week would have remained. He hated the chasm between them now, their friendship strained. His heart had dropped when Doyoung had called the previous evening telling them to come back, his chance to fix things slipping away.

“I thought you guys were good?” Chenle asked him, eyeing Jeno who was sitting on the other side of the cabin with Chan and Felix. His friends had a great time, everyone now gold skinned and full of new memories, and some still hungover from the festivities of their last night in Busan.

“We were.” Jaemin sighed, fiddling with the frayed holes in his ripped jeans.

“What happened?” Renjun asked, frowning at him.

“It’s complicated.” Jaemin replied rubbing his hands over his face, wishing he could tell them what was really going on.

“ _What?”_ Jaemin started at his mother, his brain stuttering, struggling with what she had just said. The moment they had set foot in Seoul, Maria had demanded they return home immediately to see her. His suitcase was still in the car.

She frowned at him, she was in an especially foul mood. After more than 3 weeks in Hong Kong she was _done._

“You are now my _consigliere_ ”

Jaemin swallowed, “No, I can’t do that mom. You know that”

Maria slowly stood from where she was sitting and walked over, halting in front of Jaemin.

“What would you have it wasn’t for me? _I_ protect you, _I_ provide for you, _I_ gave you a life most people can’t even dream of.” She snarled at him. Jaemin took a step back, she stepped forward. He had never seen her this mad, like a stranger to him.

“You _will_ do this.” She threatened, pointing her finger at him, long red nails gleaming.

“Mom, no I-“ _SLAP_

Jaemin’s head snapped to the side. The force of the slap throwing him of balance. Pressing a hand to his burning cheek, he stared at his mom. Never in his life had she lifted a hand at him.

“I said, you will do this.” She glared at him, no remorse or guilt in her dark eyes.

Jaemin couldn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to say. He was shocked, hurt, confused.

“Get out.” She commanded, returning to her desk.

Jaemin left, still clutching his burning cheek, tasting blood.

Jeno turned as he heard the door behind him open, Jaemin stepped out, hand clutching his cheek, eyes glassy and stunned.

“Jaem-“

“Don’t” he said softly, not meeting his eye. Jeno looked at Jaemin’s retreating back, worry clutching at his heart. Just as he was about to go after him, Maria’s voice called for him from the inside the office. Heading inside, thoughts complicated, he didn’t know what to expect.

“Jaemin has been appointed as my _consigliere_.” She said simply, not looking up from the documents on her desk. Jeno frowned as his heart dropped out of his chest. _No, no, no this can’t be happening._

A _consigliere_ was like a lieutenant in organized crime. A second-in-command who could act on behalf of the head.

“He’s meeting with the Italian _consigliere_ in two weeks. Get him ready.”

“Understood.” He said simply, bowing, his mask fully intact. She waved him away and he left.

Concern for Jaemin propelled him down the hallway toward their rooms. This was a whole new level of fucked. If Jaemin actually worked as a _consigliere_ he would be part of the syndicate, fully. A criminal. How could Jeno keep him out of his reports then? How could he protect him? Maria had done what Jeno never thought she would, she had forced Jaemin to now be part of her _business_. Something Jeno knew he was never interested in, and would grate against everything that Jaemin was.

No hesitation, Jeno entered Jaemin’s room without knocking. Jaemin was sitting on his bed, staring at his feet, seemingly lost in thought.

Jaemin looked up as his door opened, surprised to see Jeno come in. Slowly, he came over and sat next to him on the bed, his beautiful, deep eyes on Jaemin.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, deep voice rumbling.

“I… don’t know. I don’t know what to do.” Jaemin replied, looking away.

“Whatever happens, I’ll get you through this. I promise.”

He turned back to Jeno, his heart aching at how sincere he seemed. They hadn’t talked properly in days, the chasm between them widening daily. Now Jeno was sitting next to him, comforting him, warm. As if they were back in Busan, hearts tied together.

“I’m on your side Jaem. Trust me, okay?”

Jaemin just nodded, unable to speak. His thoughts and feelings were knotted together, painfully grating in confusion.

Jeno gathered him in a hug, planting a kiss on the top of his soft white head. His determination to take Maria out was suddenly renewed. He would never allow Jaemin to be dragged down by her, he would protect him, he would make sure Jaemin could be free, happy.

Even if that meant sacrificing everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is going to happen at that meeting? Will Jaemin be okay? Will both of them just pull their heads out of their asses and be together? Share your prediction! <3
> 
> Enjoy the last bit of fluff before some crazy ish goes down :,)  
> Also prepare for some Markhyuck coming very soon :)


	18. Seeing Red

Jaemin was mad. He was so pissed off he wanted to shoot something. The audacity of this motherfucker in front of him.

He was in his study, the one Jeno and Yuta had set up for him for his exams weeks ago, trying to prepare for his new role as a consigliere. He should have been focusing on getting himself ready for the meeting next week, instead he was fantasizing about stabbing Jeno with a pencil.

 _Fuck you Lee Jeno,_ he though furiously.

The days following his mother’s announcement had been absolute chaos, filled with going to shooting ranges, brushing up on his Italian, martial arts sessions with Taeyong, sleepless nights. And Jeno. So much Jeno.

He had been by Jaemin’s side every single day, eating with him, driving him places. But he refused to talk to him properly. One minute the air between them would be volcanic, the next it was frigid. Sometimes he would reach for Jeno, his hand, his warmth. But Jeno would turn away, shutting him down. Then the very next day he would bring Jaemin breakfast in bed, go out to buy his favourite sweets when the house had run out, bandage his bruised hands.

Jaemin wanted to throttle him. The rollercoaster of emotions taking him from being sad, and heartbroken to being hateful and pissed in a matter of seconds. And he still didn’t know why. Jeno said things were complicated, he had secrets. Why couldn’t he just tell him? Jaemin began to think that he had misunderstood, and that Jeno didn’t actually like him. Which added fuel to the fire of his temper, he felt stupid for liking Jeno so much.

“Uh…Jaemin?”

“What?” he snapped

“You didn’t answer”

Too busy staring a hole in Jeno’s head, Jaemin hadn’t noticed Jeno asking him something.

“Taeyong wants an extra session with you today.”

“Yeah fine, whatever.”

An hour later, Jaemin dressed in sweats entered the gym where Taeyong was waiting. Just like Yuta and Doyoung, he was a longstanding friend of the family and a director for Na Medical Corp. Of course, by night he was a general and enforcer for a massively powerful syndicate. He was also the one who taught Jaemin how to fight, from self-defence to martial arts. They were good friends, like brothers, and he was a good teacher but goddamn how Jaemin hated fighting.

“Hey Nana” Taeyong called as he caught sight of them entering. He gave the younger a quick hug, “I thought about our session this morning, and I wanted to take it a step further.”

Jaemin groaned, “Oh God what now”

Taeyong smiled innocently, handsome face brightening.

“You’ve made a lot of progress the last few days, not so rusty as I thought. So I want you to try and spar with a bigger opponent.”

“Oh hell no, there’s no way I’m fighting Yuta.”

“Pff I’ll never make you do that. I actually like you better alive” Taeyong joked, “You can spar with Jeno”

 _What?_ Jaemin gaped at the older.

“Then I can evaluate him too, he is kind of your bodyguard right?”

Jaemin didn’t say anything.

“There’s some spare clothes in that locker over there Jeno. Nana, start warming up.”

Moments later, Jaemin and Jeno locked eyes, stances ready to spar. The air between them suddenly thick.

Jeno made the first move.

He was strong, with a propensity to fight dirty, aiming low, being sneaky. Jaemin was agile and quick, smart.

Blocking another blow, and having his own blow blocked in turn, Jaemin felt himself tire, sweat dripping into his eyes. Frustration burned as his heart beat in his ears.

Suddenly he was off his feet, Jeno driving him to the ground. His frustration became fury, locked up emotions leaking out. Springing to his feet in an instant, he lashed out. His fist connected with Jeno’s jaw, bursting the skin. Unphased, Jeno lunged for him. Jaemin felt hot breath on his neck as he went down again. Twisting his arm up, he wedged it between their bodies, trying to get Jeno off.

For an instant, their eyes locked, setting the sparks between them alight. Taking advantage of his distraction, Jeno flipped Jaemin into a headlock. His thick thighs keeping his body in place, forearms cutting off his air supply.

Jaemin tapped out, giving up. Jeno’s grip on him grew slack, allowing him to gasp for air. For a moment, Jaemin became hyper aware of Jeno’s body behind him. They were both sweaty, breathing hard. Jeno’s larger frame fitting perfectly against his back, his lips by his ear.

Feeling his body grow hard at the feel of Jaemin pressed _so painfully_ close to him, Jeno immediately let go and pushed him off.

“Wow Jeno, I have to say I’m impressed.” Taeyong said breaking some the palpable electricity in the air, helping the two off the floor.

“Jaem, you did well, but next time pay some attention to…”

Jaemin wasn’t listening. The feel of Jeno still raging through his veins.

“You’re kidding me right?” Jaemin asked Jeno, voice tight with temper. He pretended not to notice the cut on his cheekbone.

“No.” He said simply

“A fucking party? Is she serious?” pushing wet hair out of his eyes, annoyance knitting his brow.

“We’re leaving in two hours.” Jeno said and left.

Jaemin flung himself down on his bed, tempted to scream into a pillow. The first thing he saw when he got out of the shower was Jeno sitting on his bed. His heart had soared, his anger from earlier melting away at the possibility of holding him again, being close to him. His crescent eyes smiling only for him. For just a moment he thought Jeno was there to finally reach for _him_ this time. But no, he was just there to tell him his mom was having a fucking party on fucking a boat with some fucking high profile criminals. And the consigliere had to be there. Jaemin was furious all over again.

Jeno rushed into his own room and slammed the door, suddenly breathing hard. He really shouldn’t waltz into Jaemin’s room without knocking anymore. He was instructed to get him ready for the party and had instead found a freshly showered, dripping Jaemin with a towel slung low over his hips.

Rubbing his hands over his face, he tried to calm himself. His body was still painfully alert, the feel of Jaemin swirling seductively in his mind.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the plot thickens >:) 
> 
> Can they just get their heads out of their asses and be together already?? Do you think they can?  
> Let me know what you predict for the party, the meeting with the Italians and of course Nomin!!
> 
> <3 <3


	19. Carnelian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning// blood, gunshots

Jaemin scrutinised his appearance in the mirror. He schooled his face, practicing his expression, he had to look the part of a powerful consigliere. He had received _express_ instructions – threats more like – to network, build relationships. To _impress_.

A soft knock at the door drew his attention, “Come in”.

Jeno stepped inside, almost knocking the air out of Jaemin. He was dressed in a suit of deep burgundy, with a black collar, the black dress shirt he wore underneath unbuttoned at the top, teasing at his muscular chest.

“Ready?” He asked Jaemin

“Almost.” Jaemin turned away, he couldn’t be distracted by Jeno tonight. Tonight could be dangerous, it was definitely going to be difficult. His heartbreak could wait for tomorrow.

Jeno watched as Jaemin finished getting ready. He buckled a diamond encrusted Rolex to his wrist and fastened tiny sapphires at his ears to match his royal blue suit.

What Jeno felt in that moment for Jaemin was deep and indescribable, he just couldn’t resist the luring temptations that is Na Jaemin’s light. Everything about Jaemin screams at him to just give and give, all of him, everything. To do anything to please him, to hear his pretty laugh, see him smile. 

“Let’s go” he said to Jeno pulling him from his thoughts. His usual bright smile absent. “Wait” Jaemin said, “Let me fix that first.” he gestured to the cut and small bruise on Jeno’s cheek. “Sit” he instructed Jeno. He was maybe harsher, sharper than he intended.

Compliant, Jeno sat down on the bed as Jaemin gathered his makeup from the bathroom, they still had some time.

Without hesitation, Jaemin stood between Jeno’s legs peering down into his eyes. The space between them suddenly tense, unresolved desires and unspoken words hanging in the air. For just a moment, time slowed as their eyes met, the air warmed. The affection they held for one another apparent in both. Ending their tender moment, Jaemin reached up and took Jeno’s chin between his fingers. Gently he turned his face to the side and dabbed some concealer on the cut. Jeno kept his eyes on Jaemin as he worked, heart complicated.

“Done.” Jaemin said, as he tried to step back, Jeno stopped him. Big hands softly capturing the back of his thighs. He looked down at Jeno, whose eyes were unreadable. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for Jeno to say something. _Please say something_. He didn’t. Jaemin sighed and stepped out of his reach.

_I hate it here,_ Jaemin thought, tossing champagne down his throat. He looked around the massive yacht at all of the people gathered on its upper deck as it sailed smoothly along the Han river. At first glance it looked like an A-list gathering, everyone was dressed in designer dresses and clothes, ostentatious jewellery glittering, lights, drinks and music warming the air. But if one looked carefully, you would notice tatted necks and knuckles and the hilts of guns peeking from beneath blazers.

Jaemin had tried his best to stay out of his mother’s world, look away, remain apathetic as much as he could. But the truth of their life had finally caught up to him. He wondered if he could still be a doctor. What was he going to do when his third years started in a few weeks? His friends? Could he ever really be free? His thoughts digging painful thorns into his mind, he chucked another glass of champagne.

Jeno stood just a few feet away from Jaemin, watching him carefully. He was agitated, angry. Jeno didn’t blame him, he knew this was difficult, this wasn’t Jaemin’s world. And Jeno wasn’t making it easier for him either. He scanned the crowd, uneasiness digging at him. Maria was notably absent. Something wasn’t right.

Yuta waved them over to where he was talking to some higher-ups from the Yakuza. As they walked over, Jaemin put a smile on his face, it was tight and strained, a mask. He started to exchanged pleasantries with them, Jeno still hanging back. It was odd, just like a networking gig for the rich and influential, Jaemin doing his best to play the part of the Na consigliere. Jeno’s worry deepened. If Maria wasn’t here, what was the purpose of the party? To make Jaemin more known? He didn’t think so.

As the night wore on, filled with music and more drinks, and the mingling of the criminal, Jeno began to notice some things were off, confirming his suspicions that something was wrong. Every now and then Yuta’s eyes would flicker around, almost as if he was looking for something or someone. Jeno noted some enforcers being twitchy, absentmindedly patting guns, eyes scanning the crowd. Something was up. Jeno approached Jaemin where he as talking to some woman from Europe. Jeno ignored the fact that the woman covered in diamonds and perfume was stroking Jaemin’s arms, smiling up at him adoringly, flashing cleavage.

“Jaemin” he spoke low, tense, drawing his attention. Jeno nodded toward the side, indicating they should talk. Jaemin excused himself from the woman and her posse.

“What?” he asked Jeno sharply when they were out of earshot, close to the edge of the deck. The river water rushing by far below.

“Something’s up.” Jeno replied, stressed.

“That’s it?” Jaemin asked after a moment, perplexed. Jeno dragged him away just to say that?

“Jaemin, something is not right. We need to be careful.” Jeno said urgently, his heartbeat spiking as his sense of danger flashed red.

“Whatever Jeno.” Jaemin huffed, frustrated. Just as he turned to leave, he saw Jeno’s eyes widen in alarm. Everything happened so fast. Chaos erupted. 

Over Jaemin’s shoulder, Jeno saw guns being pulled from jackets, aiming in every direction. Acting fast, he grabbed Jaemin. Pulling him against his chest, he ducked them both behind a large pillar off to the side. Shots echoed deafeningly into the night. Women screamed, men cursed, glass broke. Jeno felt the metal pillar vibrate against his back as it absorbed bullets.

“Stay here!” He yelled at Jaemin over the roar of the gunfight.

“No!” Jaemin yelled back, anger colouring his eyes. He wasn’t afraid, he was mad. And to hell with staying behind, once again protected at Jeno’s expense.

“I swear to God Jaemin I will cuff you to this fucking boat.” Jeno spat back, his own temper rearing its head at Jaemin’s stubbornness.

“I’m not staying here while you get shot at!”

The sound of rapid gunfire deafening.

“You are more important!” Jeno argued back, he took Jaemin by the shoulder, wanting to shake him, “ _Stay here.”_ He emphasised. He needed to protect him.

“NO.” Jaemin said firmly. Setting his brow.

Jeno grabbed Jaemin by the wrist, painfully yanking his arm and cuffed him to a railing off to the side.

“JENO!!” Jaemin yelled in shock and anger, but Jeno was gone.

Pulling his gun from its holster, Jeno dashed forward. Cool, calm, empty, his eyes flicked across the deck. Yuta and a couple others were shooting at a group of men. Ducking behind pillars and tables for covers. Training kicking in, he levelled his gun and took out four people in quick succession. _Bang, bang, bang, bang._ Leaving clouds of blood behind. The remainder suddenly took note of him. One fired recklessly. Jeno’s shoulder burned and stung. _Bang_. He took another one out. Distracted by Jeno, the rest were quickly taken down. Deafening silence fell over the deck, heavy in the absence of the chaos. Only the sound of water splashing could be heard, mocking the violence. Bodies were strewn across the deck, blood flowed. The smell of death and urine thick in the air.

Yuta limped over to him, blood flowing from a gash in his thigh as glass crunched beneath his feet. Jeno felt his hand go cold and numb as his own blood dripped down his arm.

“The fuck just happened?” he demanded, angry and confused. Heartbeat still supersonic.

“Triad.” He answered simply, handsome face pale. “Jaemin?”

“Safe.”

“Get your assess in the lifeboats, we’re burning this shit.” Yuta instructed, before limping away. Jeno nodded and headed back to Jaemin.

Jaemin was furious, spitting and angry, his cheeks coloured with temper. Jeno approached him with hurried steps.

“Uncuff me you asshole.” He demanded, he had yanked at the rail until his wrist was bruised, the sounds of guns and people dying stabbing at his brain.

Wordlessly, Jeno unlocked the cuffs, struggling a bit, his left hand not working properly. The moment Jaemin was free, he was in Jeno’s face, “Don’t _ever_ do that again.” He snapped at him, “Don’t you fucking dare.” He gave Jeno a hard shove, before stepping around him to return to the deck. But before he could see the carnage and blood, Jeno grabbed his already bruised wrist and pulled him back sharply.

“Don’t” he said softly. Jaemin can’t see that.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Jaemin replied sharply, angry eyes levelled at Jeno, “You don’t have the right.” He turned away again.

Jeno raised his hand, quick as lightning, chopped Jaemin on the side of the neck, knocking him out. As he crumpled, Jeno reached out and caught him, gathering him against his chest carefully, his injured arm screaming in pain.

For a moment, he looked down at Jaemin’s unconscious face. His long lashes spiking over his perfect skin. Anger leaving a soft blush behind.

“I’m so sorry baby.” Jeno whispered, thumbing his cheek gently. He pecked a soft kiss to his forehead before carrying him off to the nearest lifeboat.

He didn’t think about the men he had just killed, he didn’t think about the fact that this _party_ was just a massive set up. All he thought about was the man in his arms. The man he loved. The one he would sell his soul to protect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry you guys had to wait for so long for an update :,) 
> 
> But I'll be back to updating more regularly - there is SO much good stuff lying ahead. 
> 
> So, whaat is happening to Nomin? What was up with this weird gathering Maria had organised? What will happen next?? Let me know what you expect and predict! 
> 
> Buckle up for some crazy (and sexy) times ahead!! >:)
> 
> P.S. I want to rename all of the chapters to different colours - to keep it in theme. Let me know what you guys think :)


	20. Amaranthe

Jeno pulled off Jaemin Jacket and shoes and tucked him in bed, before marching over to Maria’s office. In the car on the way back to the compound, his anger had increased exponentially, fuelled by the pain in his shoulder, dry blood crusting on his skin. Now his judgement was so clouded with fury that he didn’t even stop to consider what a confrontation with Maria could mean for himself or his mission.

Without knocking, he shoved the big doors open and barrelled inside, his shoulder screamed in protest, but he didn’t care. Maria was behind her desk, talking to Yuta and another man sitting on the couch. She raised her eyebrows at his rudeness.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” he demanded. Yuta hissed at his insolent tone. ”Your stunt tonight could have gotten Jaemin killed.” he stepped closer, gritting his teeth. The stranger made to get up, to stop him, but Maria waved her hand dismissively and he sat back down. Jeno had put two and two together and realised that Maria had staged the party with the very _specific_ intention of eliciting some sort of conflict.

“It was necessary.” She said, leaning back in her chair, folding her hands in her lap.

“ _Necessary?”_ he almost yelled, “You used your own son as bait!” god he wanted to throttle her.

“Why do you think I made him consigliere? Just for shits and giggles?” she laughed humourlessly. “No, it was to draw the Triad and their traitors out.”

“By letting them think Jaemin was an easy target?!” He slammed his fist on her desk in anger, fresh blood flowed from the gash in his shoulder. She had carefully curated an ideal event where taking out some high level gang members – including Jaemin – was just too easy to pass up.

“Yes.” She answered coolly as if admitting to nearly having your son killed was the most normal thing in the world.

Jeno couldn’t say anything, fury and nausea stuck in his throat.

“And I’ll do it again” she continued, “I got rid of some Triad cells in Seoul and they killed the daughter of the head of the Bratva. So now the Triad is no longer my problem.” She smirked, _proud_ of herself.

“You’re fucking unbelievable.” He spat, stepping back.

“Why are you so upset Jeno?” Yuta asked from the side, voice low. He was clearly hinting at something,

He didn’t say anything.

Maria’s eyes widened in realisation.

“You’re in love with him.” She remarked, cackling. She seemed almost delighted at the discovery.

“Tell me Jeno, are you in love with my son?” she asked, smiling at him with a predatory grin, this was just too good to be true.

“Yes.” He answered honestly. His self-control had thinned, he couldn’t hide anymore. Not even from Maria. But now saying it out loud was almost a relief.

“You’ll die for him? _Kill_ for him?” she asked, almost manic with excitement. As if this discovery made her giddy.

“Yes” he answered without any hesitation. There was no doubt in his mind.

“What will you do to have him? What will you give me for Jaemin’s freedom?” amusement still thick in her voice. This was a golden opportunity to manipulate him, to use him and discard him.

“Anything.” That was why he was there in that office in the first place, to barter for the freedom of the one he loved – to hell with anything and everything else, himself included.

“I will let Jaemin go. He can go to college and play with his little friends. He can move out if he wants.” She gestured with her hands, casual, still grinning, “but when I call to collect this debt, you best answer.” Jeno felt a shiver go up his spine. He had just sold his soul to the devil.

_Anything for Jaemin._

Jaemin woke up, not knowing where he was, his brain hazy with fractured memories. He pushed himself up onto his elbows, his neck pulling painfully. The room around him came into focus, he was home. Golden bars of morning sun fell through the curtains. He dragged himself out of bed, almost feeling hungover, trying to piece together the previous evening.

Above the memory of gunfire and screams, one thought rang in his mind, _Jeno._ Anger and worry rose within him as he rubbed his bruised wrist.

Where did this leave him? And his mom? Where did it leave Jeno? Was there even a them anymore?

“Come in,” Jaemin called as a soft knock came at the door. He already knew who it was.

“Hey Jaem.” Jeno greeted, stepping inside.

Jaemin ignored him, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you care.” He muttered, rubbing his hands over his face. His insides feeling raw and twisted. Confusion and heartache muddling his thoughts.

Jeno remained quiet, walking over to Jaemin. He was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, his upper arm bandaged, hair mussed. Jaemin didn’t want to think about Jeno getting hurt, he didn’t want to think about his fucked up life, he didn’t want to exist just for an hour or two.

“I talked to your mom.” Jeno said, next to Jaemin on the bed. “You’re not consigliere anymore.”

Jaemin sighed and buried his head in his hands, upset.

“Why?” he asked from between his hands.

“…What?” Jeno asked, confused. He thought Jaemin would be happy.

Jaemin lifted his head, levelling a glare at Jeno, “Why would you do that?” his eyes glittered with anger.

Jeno knew that Jaemin was mad at him, he had been upset for a while now – not that Jeno _didn’t_ deserve it. But he would much rather accept his anger than his sadness.

He got to his feet, huffing. “You’re just doing your job right? It’s not like you actually care.” He was pissed off, his heartache making him more volatile. He didn’t want to cry in front of Jeno, beg him to stay with him, so he chose anger instead.

“Jaem-“

“Tell me what’s the _master_ plan this time? She wouldn’t just _let me go_ for no reason.” Was Jeno manipulating him? Had he ever liked him back? Did Jaemin misunderstand him? Hurtful thoughts and doubts dug at his mind and heart.

“That’s not-“ Jeno began, trying to explain as he too got to his feet.

“Then _what?_ ” Jaemin spat, pushing him, hard. “ _What_ Jeno?” Jaemin was in his face, livid.

“I care about you Jaemin!” He yelled back, Jaemin’s anger eliciting his own.

“No you don’t!” He pushed him again, “One minute you’re hot the next you’re cold. You pull me in then shut me out! Even though you _know_ how I feel about you!”

“I told you there are _things_ -!“ Jeno tried to explain again. Jaemin didn’t let him.

“Secrets! Right!” Jaemin scoffed, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. “Did it ever occur to you that I _don’t care??”_

“Jaemin, _listen_ – “

“No! _You_ listen!” he snapped again, “You don’t talk to me, but then you nearly die trying to save my life. Then you go and talk to my _mom_ to try and get me out? _”_ his face was bright with fury, sparks falling from his eyes. “I don’t care about whatever you think is such a _big_ secret, because I _know_ you – but you don’t seem to get it! Unless you’ve been playing some sick game with my feelings – and – and – “

“Just –“

“I don’t want to hear it – ! “ he whirled around, his back to Jeno. He didn’t want to see his face just then.

“No, you had your turn, now let me have mine.” Jeno gritted out, grabbing Jaemin by the shoulder and whirling him around, into his chest. He struggled against Jeno’s grip, his eyes turned away.

“Look at me.” Jeno gritted through clenched teeth. Jaemin refused, brow furrowed.

“Jaem” Jeno asked again, his voice softer, almost pleading. He needed to get this out – he had almost lost Jaemin the night before. He’ll be damned if he pushes him away again.

Jaemin looked at him, a ray of sunlight falling over his face, teasing out the golden specks that always seemed to dance beneath his skin.

“I love you. More than anything.” He spoke, voice low and thick with emotion, his temper gone as he lost himself in the warmth of those doe-eyes. He knew how stupid he was, how utterly ridiculous and insane that he had fallen for Jaemin. And even worse now that he had confessed his heart, he was going to hell for what he was doing. But he didn’t care – it was selfish, those words spilling form his mouth when Jaemin didn’t even know who he really was. But now more than ever Jeno was determined to complete his mission, for Jaemin’s sake. Even if that meant losing Jaemin, at least he would be free and happy.

“Jen-“ Jaemin breathed, floored. His anger gone like smoke in the wind. His heart melted as his knees weakened. Any resolve he had to keep Jeno at arm’s length was gone.

“I love you so much, some days it feels like I’m drowning. I want to talk to you, I want to be with you. Every day. But I also want you to be happy, and free. And not have to deal with all _this._ And I’ll pay the price for that Jaem, so you don’t have to.” He moved his hands from Jaemin's shoulders to cup his face, whispering to him such tender words.

“Jeno – “ he tried to speak, his voice was all but gone. Sunlight spilled onto them both, dappling them in the most beautiful warmth.

“I love you, Na Jaemin.”

Jeno leaned in and kissed him ever so slowly, softly. For weeks, this was what Jamein had craved the most, impatient at his slow pace, he grabbed Jeno by the hips and pulled him closer, bodies moulded together as the heat and electricity in the air skyrocketed. Everything was light, orange, gold-red from the sun. It all was that color of love and need, all of it, the filling, the possessing, the having, all of that color.

Teeth nipped and tongues danced as the want each had for the other was finally unrestrained. Jaemin combed his hands through Jeno’s black hair, his toes curling at the _pleasure_ and sensation of being kissed with such desire. Impatient, Jeno plucked open Jaemin’s shirt, buttons popping. Finally he had Jaemin’s bare skin under his palms. He was _perfect_. Jeno worshipped his skin with the stroke of his fingers, the most precious thing in the world was now under his palms.

Like a stormcloud about to break, Jaemin whipped them around and pushed Jeno onto the bed, straddling his lap. For a moment they parted, breathing heavy. Jeno looked up into Jaemin’s big eyes, they shone with a million stars.

“Jaem – “ he breathed, voice hoarse.

“You said… you said my first time … should be with someone I love.” He whispered, fingers trailing along Jeno’s jaw and throat. “It’s you Jeno. Now and always… I want it to be you.” He admitted, setting fireworks off in Jeno’s heart.

He leaned down and kissed him again, slower, softer. Pouring out all his heart. Taking his time to savour every moment, every touch. Jeno pulled back just the slightest, “You are so beautiful.” he murmured before setting his mouth to work on Jaemin’s collarbone, the pale skin alive under his tongue. He gathered Jaemin in his arms and pinned him under him, his white hair gleaming like stardust in the sun. Nothing else was on Jeno’s mind, it was just Jaemin. There was no room for doubt or regret or other thoughts, not when he was consumed with desire.

“Off.” Jaemin breathed, yanking at Jeno’s shirt. Jeno pulled the cursed material over his head. Finally, they were skin to skin, hearts beating frantically against one another. Jaemin trembled at the pressure of Jeno’s body as he settled between his legs. Jeno leaned down and nipped and sucked at Jaemin’s chest, painting the pale skin red and blue. Jaemin squirmed under his ministrations, hands in Jeno’s hair.

“Jen.. please… just.. I need.” Greedy, Jaemin reached for the ties to Jeno’s sweats.

“Jaem… you’re sure…?”

He nodded, “I need you… please …”

Jeno smiled devilishly up at Jaemin and lowered his head again and kissed and bit his way down and down. With quick and decisive hands, Jaemin was undressed. Bare to the sweet shivers brought about by Jeno’s hands.

“Jen… I… you…” Jaemin couldn’t think straight, Jeno’s mouth licking and tasting parts of him no other person has ever touched. His heels dug into the bed as his insides dissolved.

Jaemin now so needy, begging, blushing, pulled Jeno back to his mouth and kissed him with such need and heat, the whole world was set on fire. He tasted himself on Jeno’s lips, launching his mind into space. He wrapped his legs around Jeno’s waist, pushing, pleading, rubbing.

Anchoring an elbow next to Jaemin’s perfect face with the other palm wrapped around his slender hip, Jeno pulled away so slightly to look at Jaemin. His lips were swollen and pink, colour tinged his skin, desire and love clouding his eyes. 

Lost at the sight of, Jeno was overwhelmed. His love, his person, was in his arms. Shaking and blushing beneath him. The one Jeno didn’t even want to dream of having, was now his.

Gazes locked, lost in each other, Jeno saw the exact moment they became one reflected in Jaemin’s eyes. His pupils blew up as colour rose in his cheeks, his nails digging into Jeno’s back. Then as Jeno began to move, he swallowed gasp after gasp from Jaemin’s petal lips. Every sound he made painted in his heart, his perfect hands marking Jeno’s back.

Over and over came the ebb and flow of moans and whispers, skin sliding against skin, sheets twisting. The most beautiful orchestra of sounds filled the room as the earth moved up and away from them.

When Jeno finally shuddered into him, his body shaking, both of them covered in sweat and sunlight, one thing kept spilling from his mouth as their bodies were now wrapped together just as their hearts were. Like a whisper of sweet promise, lips against Jaemin’s ear, “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attention all passengers the ship has sailed :) 
> 
> ... but what next?? Will Jeno ever tell Jaemin the truth? How would Jaemin react? Did Jeno just throw away his mission or is being with Jaemin giving him a better chance to catch Maria? Also Maria is hella suspicious right? What is she planning?
> 
> P.S Markhyuck incoming!! <3


End file.
